A Lion Inside
by Ajive
Summary: As Snape lay dying, he contemplates what could have been had he done things differently. What he doesn't know is that there is someone out there listening, willing to give him a second chance.
1. Chapter 1: Darkness

**Summary: **As Snape lay dying, his soul passes into an unearthly plane, where he is able to contemplate his achievements and regrets, and what could have been had he done things differently. What he doesn't know is that there is someone out there listening, willing to give him a second chance.

A/N: So I know this 'traveling back in time' concept has been done before but I've been wanting to write a Snapefic for forever and this seems like the only thing I can do that is semi-canon. B/c I love Snape's story and it would be weird to change it completely. I'll reveal more of what it's about in the next chapter.

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**A Lion Inside**

**Chapter 1:**

**Darkness**

He fought for breath, the last of his dying memories spilling out of him like water, mingling with the pools of blood spreading quickly around his neck. He fought the urge to close his eyes, beating off the coming darkness with as much strength as he could muster. He wasn't finished yet, and he prayed he wasn't already too late.

He watched his memories fill the glass phials; memories that would explain everything and clear his name. But he cared not for the reputation he would leave behind, as some men close to death tend to do. He cared only for what was to come, to know it was alright; that what he had done these last several years was enough to make up for the mistakes he had made in his past.

He felt his grip loosen on Harry's cloak, and gasped.

"Look... at... me..."

As if in slow motion, emerald eyes found him and he plunged forward, through the iris and into the black it surrounded. His breathing halted, his hand fell, and Severus Snape died quietly and humbly on the dusty floor of the Shrieking Shack.

It was as if he had fallen into a light sleep and awoke in the dark. After a time of rest, Snape was becoming more and more conscious of floating in a space of nothingness, where darkness filled everything and hugged him from all sides. At least, it seemed that way. He wasn't quite sure if he had a physical body to be hugged. He seemed to be nothing more or less than a ghostly vapor. He could neither see, hear, nor speak; but he could think. And that is what he did.

He thought of Hogwarts, which had once been his home and refuge. And of the dungeons where he had taught generations of untalented, ungrateful children that mocked him behind his back. He thought of his colleagues- some of the few people he actually respected- and how bitterly they had hated him in the end. He thought of the Dark Lord, for whom he had served loyally (as far as the Dark Lord knew) and it was the Dark Lord who had disposed of him like a piece of dirty parchment.

And then there was Albus Dumbledore, considered to be the greatest wizard of the century. But Snape knew about his other side- a manipulative side that Snape served and worked for as a triple agent for the Order of the Phoenix, protecting the Potter boy from every horrific device Voldemort had deployed. And for what? So that Harry Potter, like himself, could be sacrificed for the "greater good"? What a sick and twisted plan for Dumbledore to keep to himself.

He continued to float there in the black abyss; a ghost trapped in the world between life and death. He could do nothing about it, but feared that he would be stuck here; his sins keeping him from passing on, his efforts for redemption saving him from what he assumed was an eternal hell. If he had a mouth, it would have smirked in self-deprecation. His whole life had seemed to be an eternal hell. But there was a time when he was happy. When he had had someone to care for and who had cared for him right back. Had this love been his downfall? Had it been his weakness? Or had it been his strength? These questions had plagued him constantly for the past seventeen years, but now in death he was sure it was the latter.

What was left of his mind wandered to the memories of a woman with dark red hair and shining emerald eyes, and he thought of nothing else for a long time. Then the silence was shattered by a voice:

_"Ahh, what a life you have lived, Severus!"_

Snape snapped to attention in the empty vastness.

_"Living and loving in secret," _it said._ "Being despised for what you were not. You are quite the anti-hero."_

"Who's there?" Snape wanted to say but could not.

_"For years you have harbored such terrible grief that would have crushed a lesser man. It almost seems unfair; even downright cruel when you think about it. And I have for some time."_

Though the voice filled his ears and rebounded in his mind, Snape found it very difficult to concentrate on what the voice was actually saying. Even more confusing was that he could have sworn it was a voice he had heard somewhere before. As he racked his memory, it continued:

_"There is so much here inside your head, Severus. Cleverness, even genius. An accomplished Legilimens, a master of Occlumency, a natural at potion brewing... And the loyalty! Dumbledore's man through and through, you were. If not quite for the reasons one would think..."_

The voice was so familiar and yet he could not place his finger on it. It was a distant voice, perhaps an echo somewhere from childhood. And it didn't seem to be a human voice at all. Snape tried to remember...

_"Courage. Yes, you have plenty of that. Fiercely brave but not to the point of recklessness... Yes, yes. Courage is your most admirable quality isn't it, Severus? You could have gone far with it. Very far, had you been given the chance..."_

He felt the darkness wane and a new resistance coming from above. It was almost as if he were feeling a sense of gravity again, though how could there be gravity in an unearthly plane?

_"You could be great, you know. It's all here in your head. You've proved it time and time again with your actions. Yes, I think that will do very well. Better be... GRYFFINDOR!!"_

Then the darkness lifted- quite literally- as if a curtain was being raised, and Snape was met with a brilliant sight as noise erupted all around. Before him was a mass of hundreds, clad in traditional black robes and sitting at four long, familiar tables laden with golden plates and goblets. Countless eyes were staring at him and even more hands were clapping encouragingly. Candles floated above their heads, illuminating the large room up to the ceiling, which faded into a night sky peppered with stars. And Snape was sitting, with all body parts intact, upon the exact same stool he had sat on twenty-seven years ago as Professor McGonagall gently pulled the Sorting Hat from his head.


	2. Chapter 2: Sev and Snivellus

Thanks for all the advice in your reviews! I'll try to plot as best I can, though I already know basically how this story is going to play out and I'm pretty satisfied with it. But who knows how these things change over time? This may end up being a Snape/Flitwick fic LOL.

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... it won't.

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**Chapter 2:**

**Sev and Snivellus**

It seemed as if Severus Snape had entered a dream. Where before there was darkness now there was nothing but color and light. In the back of his mind he became aware of his body- now quite smaller than it had been before. His long arms and legs had shortened, his chest and shoulders now small and slight. Snape was, at that moment, what he had been at eleven years old: skinny, hunched and painfully awkward.

McGonagall gave him a gentle push from behind. "Go ahead and sit, Mr. Snape," she mumbled and nodded in the direction of the long table on the far left. Numbly, he rose from the stool and wafted to the Gryffindor table in a haze. It wasn't until he had walked down the row when he saw a short figure stand up and beckon him to sit. His heart gave a terrific leap when he saw the flowing dark red hair and brilliant green eyes meet his own. A small and happy Lily Evans was standing before him.

She stepped forward and enthusiastically threw her arms around him. "Oh, Sev! Can you believe it? We're in the same house!" she cried as Snape involuntarily inhaled the lovely scent of her hair. Had she not been holding him up he would have swayed on the spot.

_Lily! _he thought. It was all he could think._ Lily is here. Lily is touching me. She's alive. She's alive..._

She let go and pulled his arm to sit on the bench next to her. He paid no mind to the two boys sitting on the other side of her- both with jet black hair and a surprised look on their faces. Indeed, they could have been as transparent as the ceiling for all Snape knew, as couldn't tear his eyes away from the girl by his side.

"I'm really surprised," she said. "I was sure you were going to be in Slytherin. I was getting worried when the Sorting Hat took so long on you."

Snape couldn't speak. He didn't need to, as the boy on Lily's immediate right leaned over. "Is this some kind of joke, Snivellus?" he said. "Whatever happened to 'brain over brawn'?"

"His greasy head must have done something to the Sorting Hat," the handsome boy beside him said. "Poor thing must be sick now."

"Oh, shut up," Lily spat and turned her attention to the front. There were about a dozen first years left to be sorted.

"Lily..." Snape whispered, but she hadn't heard him. She seemed perfectly alive and well, and Snape greedily drank in every inch of her features when she wasn't looking. Her soft lips were parted, her hands nervously tugged at the sleeve of her robe, her hair... her beautiful red hair...

Snape finally managed to pry his gaze away from Lily long enough to take in his surroundings. He looked up and down the table he sat at, seeing the faces of Gryffindors he had not seen since he had left the school. There was Alan Artibee, a current third year who had grown up to work at a menagerie in Africa. When Snape had taught Potions he frequently ordered ingredients from him.

He turned completely around in his seat for a better view of the Slytherin table. After a moment of scanning, Snape could point out the platinum blonde hair of Lucius Malfoy with a prefect's badge gleaming on his chest. Next to him sat a number of faces Snape had grown to know intimately during his Death Eater years: Mulciber, another first year; Avery and Wilkes, second years; and Narcissa Black and Evan Rosier, both in their fourth year.

The Sorting finished soon after and eventually the Headmaster stood from his chair and addressed the room. Snape could see Albus Dumbledore clearly. He thought the man looked very old, even knowing that he had a good thirty years left in him. His long silver hair and beard fell to his stomach, his half-moon spectacles perched lightly on his crooked nose. He looked so aged, yet so alive in front of the students.

"Welcome to another year at Hogwarts!" he said merrily. "I will make further announcements after the feast. So please, tuck in!"

Suddenly an array of foods and dishes appeared magically before them. Snape heard Lily gasp. At once arms reached out and took food from every plate; there were several meaty dishes, a mountain of mashed potatoes, salad bowls full of assorted vegetables and rice, there was even a bowl of spicy paella. Lily tentively reached for a basket of sliced baguettes and took one. Then she held them out to Snape. "Would you like one?"

He nodded and smiled, taking one for himself and passing the basket along. "I wonder where all this food came from?" Lily inquired.

"House-elves," Snape sputtered. It was the first thing he had managed to say to her. His voice was very high. "From the kitchens beneath us."

"House-elves? What are house-elves?"

Whether or not this was a Hogwarts of an alternate reality or some delusion he was experiencing before passing on to death Snape did not know. Nor did he care. He was sitting next to the only person he wanted to see, fully alive and happy, and Snape momentarily pushed all questions from his mind as he began to explain the role of house-elves at Hogwarts. Lily listened intently, her eyes shining with excitement at his every word. Neither one of them was paid any mind by the four boys sitting next to them, for they, too, were busy stuffing themselves with their delicious meals.

When they were finished, Dumbledore stood for a second time and raised his arms for silence.

"I hope you have all taken your fill," he said. "Now, before you go off to rest your heads and prepare your brains for your first day of learning, I would like to make a few announcements..."

Snape must have heard these announcements a hundred times before, and chose to spend his time looking at Lily again. Could it be that he had really been given a second chance? If he could live his Hogwarts years all over again, do all the things he should have done and avoid those that ruined him, maybe he would have a chance with her. Maybe if he just-

But Dumbledore had finished his speech and dismissed them all.

"First years! Follow me to the dormitories!" said one of the Gryffindor prefects. Snape and Lily stood and scrambled after their peers up several flights of stairs and hidden passageways. Lily was throwing her eyes every which way- taking in the moving portraits, the shifting staircases, and Snape happily explained them all. It was odd to him, talking in such a way to an eleven-year-old, and tried to speak in a fitting manner for his age. Despite the age difference (and Snape didn't really know how to feel about this) he didn't seem to mind that Lily had such a simple and childish way of looking at things. No, if anything, he found them all the more endearing. Finally they were led to the Portrait of the Fat Lady and were told the password ("willow") then taken inside and separated into their dormitories. As Lily made for the girls' side, Snape called to her from the fireplace. She turned to look at him, then at her retreating roommates, then walked back to meet her friend.

"What is it, Sev?" she asked, trying to read the stricken look on his face. He stood rooted to the spot, not wanting to go to bed, terrified of the idea that when he woke up he would be returned to the black nothingness. Or worse- back to the life he had left behind.

"I... I just wanted-," he mumbled, but what could he say? Not wanting to frighten her, and fighting down the urge to grab her and not let go, he gently reached out and squeezed her arm.

"I'll see you at breakfast," he said.

She smiled. His heart leapt to his throat. "Okay, I'll look for you in the Great Hall."

And with that she bounced over to the door and disappeared from view. As if walking on a cloud, Snape drifted to his own dorm.

"Snivellus! What took you, mate? Slip on your own grease on the way here?"

Snape closed the door and saw four boys already in their four-poster beds. The two black-haired boys were facing each other in conversation. The other two watched, but said nothing. Snape felt a surge of hatred for all of them. Remus Lupin, weary and looking much older than he actually was, sat against his pillows reading a book. Peter Pettigrew, short, chubby and pathetic as always, was edged as close to the end of his bed as possible, trying to insert himself into the conversation the others were having.

One of them, a handsome boy with a nonchalant look on his face, black hair falling carelessly to the side, was peering at Snape over his shoulder. "Hope you don't mind we already chose beds," he said. "Lupin drew the short straw so he has to sleep next to you. Tough luck, Remus." He raised his eyebrows to Lupin, who did not look up from his book.

"Cut it out, Sirius."

"We were all arguing about it. No one wanted to sleep next to you. You know, because of the smell-"

_"Sirius!"_

"No, really though," said the other black-haired boy. He had unkept, messy hair that stuck up in the back. His glasses were slightly askew. He and his son both had that look of arrogance that made Snape feel a lurch in the pit of his stomach. "I hope we didn't hurt your feelings, Severus," said James Potter. His eyes were full of feigned concern. "I just want us all to be friends. All us Gryffindors, you know?"

Sirius let out a snort of laughter. James' face did not falter in its fake sincerity, except the corner of his mouth twitched slightly.

Snape wanted to hex them all. This dream was painfully real, it seemed. Except now he had to share a room with the four people that had made his life a living hell in school. But this time was different. _This time, _Snape thought_. I am older... wiser. I know things they don't... I know what's going to happen-_

He frowned_. At least, I think I do..._

Pushing aside feelings of contempt, he climbed into bed and yanked the curtains of his four-poster closed before pulling the blankets over his head, allowing the questions he had kept at bay flood over him.

Was this all a dream or wasn't it? It seemed very real- eating the food, talking to Lily, walking the corridors. If it _was_ a dream, then he definitely would have woken up by now. Maybe it was a sort of heaven? No- if it were heaven the four other gits in the room wouldn't be there.

He turned over, pushed his long hair out of his face, and a small panic crept into his head. _Will she be there when I wake up? Will I even wake up? _

His gaze wandered over the crimson curtains surrounding him as his eyelids drooped. _And why the hell do I have to be in Gryffindor?_


	3. Chapter 3: The First Day

Thanks for all your reviews! I was a little hesitant about writing an HP fic, because the fanbase is a lot bigger than most others out there. But your reviews make me want to write! I hope I don't disappoint.

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**Chapter 3:**

**The First Day **

Snape woke up after a night of dreamless sleep. It took him several minutes to remember exactly where he was, and when he did he sat bolt upright and looked around. He was in his Gryffindor four poster, surrounded by dark red curtains. He sighed and rubbed his eyes before reaching to pull the curtains back. When he did, he found that they wouldn't budge.

He yanked the curtains hard, but they remained stuck on all sides to the bedposts. Snape swore and grabbed for his wand, remembering too late that he had placed it on his bedside table the night before, and found it was blocked by a wall of crimson fabric.

_Those gits,_ he thought and stood up, his head a good three feet from the ceiling. He wasn't used to being this small. He clutched a handful of crimson in his fists and pulled with all his might, but nothing happened. Grabbing the very top of the curtain, he tried again; this time bending his legs underneath him so that he hung there for a beat, then a loud ripping noise echoed in the bedroom and he bounced on his mattress, a large hole now in his curtains.

Snape poked his head out and discovered that his four roommates had already left for breakfast. He climbed out and seized his wand, spat _"Reparo",_ and watched as the curtain stitched itself whole again. He attempted to unstick it from the bedposts, but after a dozen spells Snape gave up and got dressed.

Before he left the room he pointed to the four remaining beds and muttered _"Cubiaqualum."_

He arrived at the Great Hall and quickly found Lily by her dark red hair, which stood out amongst a sea of black and brown, at the very end of the table. As he walked toward her he passed Sirius, who said, "Good morning, Snivellus! Hey, why are you so late?"

Snape ignored him and kept walking. He heard him say sideways to James, "Permanent Sticking Charm. I have a tapestry at home with it. Can't get it off for anything..."

Snape plopped down next to Lily, who looked up at him with a look of concern. With one glance at her face, however, Snape's frustrations melted away. "Good morning," he said pleasantly.

"Morning! Did you sleep well? I didn't get a wink. Classes start in an hour."

"It's nothing but nerves," he said. "You'll do great in your classes, I'm sure of it."

"Speaking of which," Lily pulled a piece of parchment from her pocket. "McGonagall was handing out our schedules and I got yours for you." She shrugged. "It's the same as mine, but still."

He took the parchment and looked it over. Their first class was Charms with Flitwick.

"Charms is simple," he said. "You have a knack for it."

Lily laughed. "How do you know? I've never even tried a spell! But thanks for the encouragement."

But as Snape knew, Lily did have a knack for Charms. Less than an hour later they were sitting in one of the front tables in Professor Flitwick's classroom. James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter were sitting together in the back. Snape did not give them the satisfaction of revealing how upset he was over his four poster, and quietly spent his time thinking up ways he could unstick a Permanent Sticking Charm.

After Flitwick called attendance he began the lesson. "For our first class we will be doing a very simple charm- very handy indeed- that opens doors that have been locked. Can anyone tell me the incantation for this spell?"

Everyone in the classroom looked around. No one was sure but Lily, who glanced at Snape and raised a tentative hand.

"Yes, Miss Evans?"

"Um, could it be... erm, 'Alohamora'?"

"Yes! Very good! Ten points to Gryffindor," Flitwick squeaked.

Lily grinned sideways at Snape. From the back, they heard James say loudly, _"Yeah! Go Evans! Ten points for the team!"_

He left them to work in pairs. First they were to say the name as well as practice the proper wand wave before going two at a time to the classroom door to practice. Snape was quite bored in the beginning, having done the charm countless times before, but he assisted Lily as much as he could when they were to put the spell to use on the door.

"It's not working," she said, frustrated.

"It's the way you're moving your wand so much," he said. "Just flick and point at the keyhole."

"You do it properly then," she insisted.

Snape raised his brows and drew his wand. He pointed it at the door and mumbled _"Alohamora"._

The door opened into the hallway. Flitwick saw this as he passed and awarded Gryffindor ten more points. Lily stuck her tongue out playfully at Snape, who hid a blush by pretending to dust off his robes. There were no cheers from James in the back.

Their next class was Transfiguration with McGonagall, which was just as tedious for Snape as Charms had been. He spent most of the time thinking of ways he could jinx James and Sirius without being caught...

He shook himself. He was thirty-eight years old when he died and was now thinking of ways to bully his childhood nemeses? Not even a lifelong grudge could force him to stoop quite that low. They were children after all.

_Though, technically, I am too_, he thought with a smirk.

After Transfiguration they had a break period before lunch. Snape suggested to Lily that they take a walk around the grounds. She agreed and they trudged outside where the summer heat had not yet left for the fall. It was a bright day; the sky very blue and dotted with puffs of cumulus clouds.

"Do you think I should write a letter to Tuney about this?" said Lily suddenly as they passed the gamekeeper's hut on their way to the lake. "I mean, I know she wanted to come here once... but..."

"She... doesn't seem to be all that happy for you," Snape said, remembering vividly the last time he saw Petunia Evans. It was twenty-seven years ago, right before he had boarded the Hogwarts Express for the first time. Though, technically still, it happened only yesterday. He remembered how the horsey-faced girl had spat through her jealous tears, calling her sister a "freak."

"I'm afraid," Lily mused. "We used to be so close when we where younger, you know? I'm afraid after this she'll never speak to me again. She may not ever forgive me for being what I am."

Snape watched Lily's sadness and wished he could say something positive and truthful, but he didn't really know what Lily's relationship with her sister was like during this time in their lives. Snape wondered, back when he was in school the first time around, had he ever thought to ask? He was sure he hadn't; he had not cared much for Muggles.

"You can't help what you are, which is a very talented witch," said Snape, hoping that such a compliment would brighten her mood. She smiled weakly. "I'm sorry," he added a moment later. "I... I feel a bit responsible for your estrangement from Petunia. I made you sneak into her room and read that letter-"

"Oh, Sev, I don't blame _you,"_ Lily said. "I was just thinking out loud. Nevermind me. Hey, is that Dumbledore?"

He followed her gaze to two figures standing about twenty yards ahead. There was no mistaking the Headmaster with his bright purple robes and long, silver hair. Beside him stood a boy in Gryffindor school robes. They were standing a fair distance away from a large tree; its branches waved threateningly in their direction.

"And that's Remus Lupin," said Lily. "I wonder what they're talking about?"

Snape knew exactly what they were talking about, and had to suppress a smile. _Lupin the werewolf. No doubt Albus is telling him about the Shrieking Shac__k..._

After a few minutes Dumbledore walked away, leaving Remus to stare at the tree with a look of anxiety on his pale face.

"Lupin!" Snape called spontaneously. Remus jumped and turned to see them walk up. "Fancy meeting you here."

"What were you doing with Dumbledore?" Lily asked.

"Oh, erm," Remus mumbled. "He was just showing me the Whomping Willow. Nothing important."

He looked frazzled, and Snape relished in it. Lily was surveying the tree. "Why is it called the 'Whomping Willow?'"

"Because it moves its branches like fists. It'll hit you if you get too close. Um, I have to go. I'll see you guys later," Remus said hurriedly and walked to the castle without another word.

"He seems a bit off," Lily said.

"Quite," said her companion. And they continued their walk, Snape with a little bounce in his step.

-

Their final class of the day was double Potions with the Slytherins. Snape wasn't especially looking forward to this, despite being a former Potions master and Head of Slytherin House. Instead he predicted that it would be extremely dull and he was right. But he did get some joy out of watching Lily charm Horace Slughorn, his predecessor to both Potions and Head of House, by answering almost every question he threw at them.

Snape also kept an eye on Mulciber, his former friend in Slytherin and fellow first year. Looking back, Snape had always known Mulciber would turn out to be one nasty bloke. Even as a child he was the definition of intimidating: burly, hunched, aggressive, and a natural predator to those weaker than him. But he and Snape had been outsiders together, and when the world is your enemy, then the enemies of the world are your friends.

But it didn't have to be like that this time, Snape had already decided. He would stay as far away from the Dark Arts as possible- avoid them and the Slytherins completely- and concentrate on winning Lily's undying affection. He didn't care if it took all seven years of Hogwarts a second time through; he would do everything he should have done in the first place and Lily would surely return his feelings.

His gaze wandered over to James Potter, laughing with his friends as they added nonsense ingredients to their Scintillating Solution.

He was also ready to take on James in every way he could. Snape wouldn't let Lily slip away again, let alone into the arms of an arrogant jerk like him.

-

After dinner Lily retired early after a tiring first day. Snape watched her go, still sitting in one of the overstuffed armchairs in the common room. It was a comfortable chair, but Snape preferred the silver-and-green Slytherin dungeons beneath the lake. He was enjoying a peaceful spell of silence when a loud racket emitted from some people entering the portrait hole. He didn't need to turn around to know that it was Potter and the rest. They trounced toward the boys' dormitory and Snape wished they wouldn't notice him- no such luck.

"What's the matter, Snape?" James said from the stairs. "Aren't you coming to bed? We were going to tell ghost stories."

Snape shot him a dirty look. "There seems to be a problem with my curtains," he said. "I suppose I'll just sleep in the common room until they're fixed."

"Oh, Sev," James smiled warmly. "You can always share a bed with Pettigrew here." Peter blushed a deep red as Sirius let out a bark of laughter.

"No, that's perfectly fine. I'll see you in the morning," Snape said and watched as the other four stomped up to their dorm. As soon as they were out of sight, Snape leapt quietly to his feet and followed them up to the door, pressing his ear against it.

"What a slimeball," he heard Sirius drawl.

"How can that Evans girl stand to be around him?" insisted James. "It's weird, isn't it?"

"Maybe she has a nose fetish?"

There was a bark of laughter. "Good one, Pete."

Snape listened as James and the others climbed into bed. After a moment there was a series of four loud pops, the sound of splashing water, and four yelps of bewilderment as Snape snickered to himself and retreated back to the common room, feeling as young as he looked.


	4. Chapter 4: Lucius's Manners

**Chapter 4:**

**Lucius's Manners**

Had Snape been told he would have to relive his school years over again, he probably would have taken a very strong Sleep Draught and gone into hiding. Seven years of being taunted for his appearance and enduring any and all kinds of ridicule for being a Slytherin had left him bitter as an adult, as any student at Hogwarts who had had the misfortune of calling him "Potions Master" would tell you. But had he been told he would be able to live them over again, and know what the future would have in store, he would have sold his soul to the devil for such a chance.

For Snape had come to know Lily Evans as a child and had been her best friend for most of his time at Hogwarts. She was the kindest, wittiest, and most beautiful girl he had ever met, and even before he had stepped out from behind that bush that fateful day and introduced himself to her, he knew that he was in love. There wasn't a wizard alive who could have felt what Severus Snape felt the night she died; for it was because of him that she fell victim to Lord Voldemort's deadly rampage.

With this in mind, those terrible, miserable years spent mourning her death, he vowed that he would never let it happen again. He had not sold his soul to the devil, but by some unexplainable twist of fate he _had_ been given a second chance to right the things he had wronged. And he was grateful for every second of his new life.

That is, until both of them started to make other friends.

Their first month at Hogwarts had almost come to a close (Sirius's Permanent Sticking Charm turned out less than permanent, and Snape was able to use his bed again) when Snape swept over to Lily in the common room one windy Saturday afternoon and asked her if she would like to work on their History of Magic homework together. He had already done it (twice, really) but was looking forward to spending time with her alone in the library.

"Sorry, Sev. I can't," she said. "I'm going to watch the Gryffindor Quidditch team practice with Mary and Kendra today."

"Oh," Snape said. Mary Macdonald and Kendra Farlane were the two other Gryffindor first years that Lily shared a dorm with. It was only natural that they should want to hang out together. "I'll see you later then," he said.

Feeling a bit put-off, Snape went to the library anyway to do some research of his own. He wanted to see if he could find any books on near-death experiences or unaided time travel, perhaps to see if his situation was something that was not entirely unheard of.

The library was a massive place that was carefully guarded by Madam Pince, the irritable librarian, who resembled an overgrown vulture despite being somewhat young. The room was filled to the brim with every kind book imaginable, and there were quite a few students inside just browsing for curiosity's sake. Despite this, Snape found nothing on the subject in all the aisles he searched. Frowning, he turned to gaze longingly at the Restricted Section, for which, as a student, he did not have access to. He was pondering the best way to ask a teacher for a permission note when a tall fifth year walked up behind him. "Need any help?"

Snape turned and found himself looking at Lucius Malfoy, his pointed face set in a pleasant smile, a haughty sort of air surrounded him. "No," Snape said at once and busied himself by grabbing the nearest book off a shelf. Lucius watched him for a moment before clearing his throat.

"My name is Lucius Malfoy," he said. "Slytherin. What's your name?"

Snape's back was to him, and the blonde boy did not see him scowl. "Severus Snape," he said. "Gryffindor."

"Oh," said Lucius, unable to hide the malice in his voice. "You struck me as someone who would be in Ravenclaw, at least."

"Don't be fooled. Snivellus desperately wanted to be in Slytherin," said a voice. James and Sirius had strutted up behind them, looking as if they had no place in a library, and Pince was watching them like a hawk. "But the Sorting Hat does have a mind of its own, doesn't it? Though I have no idea why anyone would want to be a _Slytherin _of all things," James said.

"Not everyone can pull off red and gold, mate," said Sirius. "Or looking decent in general," he added, eyeing Snape.

"At least Severus here has some common sense," Lucius said in Snape's defense. "Is there something you two want or are you just content with making noise?"

"Actually, we came looking for our pal Sevvy," James said, thumping Snape on the back. "The house-elves are cooking and they need some grease for the frying pans..."

Snape whipped out his wand and pointed it threateningly at the messy-haired boy. Sirius had his own wand out a second later, pointed to Snape. Lucius held out his hands. "Boys! Boys! Not here!"

Neither boy lowered his wand until Madam Pince stormed over. "NO SPELLS IN THE LIBRARY!" she barked, finally having an excuse to roughly pull James and Sirius to the exit.

She glared back at the remaining two. "Severus," said Lucius hastily. "I believe we were just going to the Restricted Section, correct? Let's go," and steered him to the roped-off section in the back of the room. "Prefects have full access, you know," he added, pointing to the badge on his chest and stepping over the velvet rope. Snape followed warily. "You don't fit in well with your peers, do you?"

"No," said Snape. His plan to avoid his old Death Eater friends seemed to be tougher than he had anticipated, though he couldn't help adding "those lousy airheads" and glared at the retreating figures of James and Sirius.

"Yes, it's a shame how we are forced to mingle with them," Lucius said, as if he had a bad taste in his mouth. "_Muggle-lovers_ the lot of them. They even keep Muggle books in the library. Disgusting. So what book are you looking for exactly?"

Snape glanced over the questionable titles: _Poisonous Perennials of Persia, Abyssus Abyssum Invocat: Part II, _and_ Rising from the Grave: a Guide to History's Most Infamous Inferi Attacks._ His fascination with Dark Magic bubbled up inside him. "Just browsing, I think," he said, taking a particularly slimy book from the shelf.

"Interested in the Dark Arts, are you? It's a fine subject, if only they didn't insist on _banning_ it. You know at Durmstrang they teach it as a class on its own? I considered going there, but Hogwarts is a bit more refined, despite all the Mudbloods..."

He trailed off, unaware that Snape was trying to ignore him and his talk of Mudbloods. He had picked up a book on mummification and stuffed it back into the shelf upon inspection, moving farther along the aisle. There were many books on death and dying, but none that described what happened after a person had actually died. He spent a good ten minutes scanning the shelves, but to no avail.

"... and father thinks we should just pen them all up in a farm somewhere. Oh, are you finished?" Lucius said, noticing that Snape was heading for the exit.

"Unfortunately," Snape sighed, wishing he could take some books with him. Not for research, but for pleasure. "I suppose I should thank you for letting me in here," he said. "But I must leave. They don't have what I'm looking for."

"I thought you were just browsing?"

"With some intent."

Lucius chortled. "I like you, Severus," he said. "You give me the impression that you know exactly what you want and how to get to it. We should get to know each other."

Snape fingered the wand in his pocket, as if deliberating with himself. He thought of James and Sirius. "Yes," he said finally. "That would be nice."

Lucius smiled handsomely and stepped over the velvet rope. "Monday night," he said. "Come by the old Runes classroom on the fourth floor. I'd like you to meet some people."

Snape nodded and watched as the platinum blonde head strolled out of sight.

-

Outside at the Quidditch Pitch, Lily Evans was sitting in the tall benches with her two roommates, Mary and Kendra. It was a windy fall day, causing their long hair to whip around their faces as they watched the scarlet-robed Gryffindors play a practice match. Kendra, who had two magical parents, was explaining the game to her companions, who listened and watched intently.

"You see that big guy near the hoops? He's the Keeper. He does everything a Muggle goalie would do, except he has to guard all three goals."

"And what about the skinny one?" Mary asked, pointing to a thin boy who was flying high overhead, darting his eyes back and forth as if looking for a dropped contact lens.

"He's called the Seeker," Kendra explained, brushing her long, dark hair away from her eyes. "He looks for the Snitch and when he catches it, the game is over."

"Kendra, if you know so much about Quidditch why don't you try out for the team next year?" Lily inquired.

"Oh, everyone knows about Quidditch, but that doesn't mean we're all fit to hop on a broom," said Kendra. "Besides, I'd rather watch." And Lily saw her eyes follow the Gryffindor team captain as he sped away with the Quaffle. "Especially chasers," she added giggling.

"I wish I could fly," Lily mused.

"Flying lessons are coming up," Mary said. "We'll get to use the school's brooms and everything. It's really exciting!"

"I wonder who will be the best flyer in our class?" Kendra wondered.

"I bet ten Sickles it's Sirius Black," said Mary. "He comes from an old family. I bet they have a whole storage shed full of brooms at home."

"You're just saying that 'cause you fancy him," Kendra teased. "I think Potter has a shot as well. I heard him the other day in Astrology talking about how he's been flying a broom since he was one..."

Lily rolled her eyes. "James annoys me to no end," she declared. "I can't stand people who think they're better than everyone else."

"Is that why you hang out with that Stephenus guy?" Mary asked. "He's definitely got nothing to be arrogant about."

"It's _Severus. _And he's really smart and nice."

"Funny how they're either good-looking and stupid, or ugly and brilliant. Never a good blend of both."

"That's why I go for _older_ guys," said Kendra, smiling and waving to the Quidditch captain, who nearly flew headfirst into a Bludger.

-

The day had come and gone very quickly that Saturday at Hogwarts. The sun was already setting on the horizon, casting an orange glow in the near empty common room in Gryffindor Tower. Snape was sitting in one of the overstuffed armchairs alone, having decided to skip dinner in an effort to work out the ingredients to a potion he had thought of that morning. He looked up from his parchment briefly to take in the sunset from the window. In the distance was the sound of hooting owls.

A moment later Snape heard the portrait hole open. Thinking nothing of it, Snape continued his writing, until:

"May I sit here?" came a voice from Snape's shoulder. He looked up and saw Remus Lupin, poised to sit in the armchair he had been saving for Lily. Snape stared at him coldly. Remus did not take the hint and dropped into the seat. There was an long pause as Remus drummed his fingers against the cover of his copy of _The Sta__ndard Book of Spells, Grade 1 _and gazed at the setting sun.

"Listen," he said eventually. "I want to apologize for James and Sirius. They joke around a lot, you know? They don't mean anything by the names they call you."

"If you think I take what those two say to heart you are sorely mistaken," said Snape flatly, not glancing up from his paper.

Remus looked around nonchalantly so as not to appear uncomfortable. It didn't seem to be working.

"Look, I'm just trying to help," he muttered. "We're going to be living together and all... I thought we should get along."

Snape looked up suddenly; Remus gave a start.

"That's right," Snape said in a low voice. "Wouldn't want any friction between us, would we? Not us Gryffindor boys." He lowered his voice further. "I'm sure after a while we'll all know each other quite intimately. Our secrets, bad habits, or..." His voice was barely more than a whisper as he bore into Remus's gaze. _"...monthly cycles."_

The effect was instantaneous. Remus's eyes bulged, his face blanched to an extreme degree of white. He stared at the boy with greasy hair as if he had perhaps misheard his words, but when the corner of Snape's lip twisted into a vile smirk, Remus looked as if he would be sick.

He sputtered incoherently, then quickly rose and hurried to the portrait hole, looking close to fainting as he did so.

Snape turned back to his parchment, a warm, satisfied sensation in his abdomen. A few moments later Lily sat down where Lupin had been, her hair still untidy from the windy Pitch.

"I saw that you were talking to Remus," she said, attempting to straighten her hair with her hand. "Are you friends?"

"We're getting there," said Snape, and Lily failed to notice the sarcasm. "How was Quidditch?"

"Oh, it's really interesting," she said. "I mean, I was never all that interested in Muggle sports, but Quidditch is rather more exciting when the players fly around on broomsticks." She leaned over to look at Snape's paper. "What class is this for?"

"None," he said. "I'm just working out some things for a potion."

Lily gave him a look of great admiration. "I wish I could be like you."

"Huh?" he sputtered and looked up, almost knocking his ink bottle to the floor. He couldn't help but notice her green eyes were vivid in the light of the setting sun.

"It's true," she smiled. "I can study my Potions book night and day and still not make them like you can. I'm envious."

Snape could hardly believe Lily was serious. "Don't joke," he said. "If I had your cheek and charm I could make the whole school like me." He scribbled more on his parchment and mumbled, "But being a pretty girl helps a bit, I suppose."

Lily smiled at the compliment and curled up in her armchair. "Looks aren't everything, Sev. Take Sirius Black, for instance."

Snape glowered at his paper. "What about him?"

"Mary Macdonald says he's the most handsome boy she has ever seen."

"...and what do you think?"

Lily fiddled with her wand. "I think I'd like to hex his handsome face right off."

A saner person would be concerned for their own well-being if they had felt the jolt of happiness for these threatening words as Snape had.

The two talked for what seemed like hours, fellow Gryffindors occasionally coming through the entrance and going off to bed, until they both retired to their rooms. Snape was the first to go to bed out of the other Gryffindor boys that evening, and after checking to make sure all his stuff wasn't jinxed, he climbed under the sheets. Sleep came swiftly as he was still, and for the first time since his old life, Snape had a dream. It came as quite a shock.

* * *

Next time: the dream!


	5. Chapter 5: Snape's Dream

I might not get the time to write tomorrow, so I am going to go ahead and post this chapter now. I hopes yous likes its.

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**Chapter 5:**

**Snape's Dream**

Snape was an adult again, fully grown and dressed in his usual billowing black robes. He was walking along a corridor in Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, where he taught Defense Against the Dark Arts. It must have been nighttime, for the halls were deserted. Purposefully, but not quite knowing the purpose, Snape made his way up to the seventh floor, his footsteps echoing off the stone ground and into the surrounding silence. It wasn't before long that he found himself face to face with a very large and very ugly gargoyle.

"Butterscotch," he said. The gargoyle sprang to life at once and stepped to the side, allowing Snape to make his way up the winding staircase and into the headmaster's office. It was the same as it had always been in Snape's memory: grand, large and circular with noisy silver devices perched on spindle-legged tables, which sat under a collection of portraits of previous headmasters and mistresses. They all seemed to be fast asleep and sat hunched against their frames.

Though Snape had deliberately walked to the office, he could not for the life of him remember why.

"Hullo, Severus."

Snape spun around. Albus Dumbledore had appeared behind him.

"Albus?"

"Surprised to see me in my own office?" Dumbledore said.

"No, sir..." Snape started. "I mean, yes. You aren't the headmaster anymore."

"I'm not?"

"No, you're dead," Snape said quietly. "I killed you."

"Well, to be fair Severus, you're dead, too."

Then Snape felt a searing pain on his neck and clamped a hand to it. He felt a warm wetness and, drawing back his hand, he found that it was covered in blood.

"Oh dear," said Dumbledore. "Would you like a tissue?"

Then the dream became very very real, and Snape realized that he was _not_ the DADA teacher out for a midnight stroll. He looked wildly around. Hanging on the wall behind the Headmaster's desk was the portrait of the late Albus Dumbledore, his blue eyes twinkling at him from behind a pair of half-moon spectacles. The real Dumbledore strode over to the claw-footed desk and sat in the chair behind it.

Snape's neck throbbed with pain and he clasped both hands to it this time, only to find that the bleeding wound was gone.

Dumbledore smiled at him.

"Funny how one convinces oneself that a mirage is really there."

The contentment Snape had felt a moment before vanished to be replaced by a growing sense of awareness. "Where am I?" he said.

"In a dream."

"No! I mean where have I been this past month! I'm supposed to be dead! Voldemort-"

"Voldemort, of all people, couldn't be any less knowledgeable in the subject of death," said Dumbledore as he reached for a dish of brightly colored candy. Snape stood momentarily staring at the old wizard before slouching forward and sitting in the chair opposite him. He buried his face in his hands.

"I know what you're going to tell me," he said miserably. "You're going to say that being at Hogwarts again wasn't real either. That it was all a dream-"

"It is real, Severus. Very much so. You've been given a second chance by a greater power that we know not of," Dumbledore said as casually as though he was talking about the weather. He held out the dish. "Jelly bean?"

Snape ignored the last comment and rubbed his temple irritably. "A greater power," he said. "Wants to give me a second chance? How absurd. That makes no sense."

"The way I see it," said Dumbledore. "And if I may say, I've rarely been wrong before, is that your soul has come to a fork in the road: it has neither the desire to pass on to the afterlife, nor the wish to stay on earth as a ghost. Instead, and not even I can explain how or why, it created for itself a way to turn back time to the most pivotal moment of your life."

"It turned back... to when I was Sorted?" said Snape, sounding unconvinced.

"And the Sorting Hat put you into Gryffindor! I wasn't a bit surprised, to be honest."

At Snape's questioning look, Dumbledore explained, "Years ago I made the small comment that I sometimes think we Sort too soon. Do you remember?"

"Yes," Snape sneered. "But I didn't take it as much of a compliment."

Dumbledore chuckled. "Where your interests lie I shall never know, Severus!" He popped another jelly bean in his mouth and chewed.

Snape rolled his eyes. "Just tell me how I am supposed to 'pass on' as you call it?"

"You can make it happen by feeling as if you have nothing left to regret in life," answered Dumbledore.

Snape laughed bitterly. "I have plenty of things to regret, Albus," he said. "Don't think I don't know it."

"But you don't, you see," said Albus. "When you died you were still trapped in the past, held there by guilt for something you could not change. Now you can."

"So this is another chance for redemption?" said Snape. "For love?"

"And other things as well," said Dumbledore. "Life is more than just _romance_, Severus, though some witches I know would argue." He smiled under his long beard. "There are also the ties we make with other people. Our enemies, for instance."

"I don't want anything to do with Potter or his friends!" shouted Snape. "He's arrogant, he's hateful-"

"And deserved what he got in the end?" Dumbledore offered. Snape fell silent. "I do not disagree that James Potter wasn't perfect by any means, but he was a brave man who loved his family and showed loyalty to his friends. Saying that Voldemort did right by killing him is wrong in every sense of the word."

"So I have to win them over, too, do I?"

"You don't _have_ to do anything, Severus. Though you can't argue that your life at Hogwarts would have been a much more pleasant one if you hadn't had such enemies."

Snape shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "And why are you here?" he asked. "Are you real, too? Am I talking to Albus Dumbledore or a mere figment of my dreams?"

"The one and only," Dumbledore said, looking around at the dozing portraits of his predecessors. "You never realize how much work goes into running a school until you're no longer doing it." He turned back to Snape. "We live for years, wishing we could have more time than we're given. Little do we know that we have all the time in the world once our lives are over. Still, I find that being a teacher and a guide was my life's calling, and sometimes I like to pop in every now and then to see if I can offer my services."

"I see," said Snape, and they fell into silence. The only sound was that of chewing, as Dumbledore continued to eat his candy.

Snape's eyes wandered from one dozing portrait to another, and a thought occurred to him. "Sir," he said. "Why isn't my portrait in here?"

"You are thinking of becoming a headmaster, Severus?"

"What I mean is," Snape said. "That I _was_ headmaster for a short time... even if..." He trailed off for a beat before saying, "Not that it matters, I was just doing it under the Dark Lord's orders, but still."

Dumbledore adjusted his spectacles with two long, bony fingers. Snape noticed that the cursed burn he had acquired from the ring had vanished. "It shouldn't matter to you now though, should it? You're going to change history if you win Lily's heart."

This cheered Snape up quite a bit. "That's right," he said.

Then a thought occurred to him. "Sir, I was wondering-"

But before he could complete his sentence, the office gave a violent shake, sending the silver instruments crashing to the floor.

"It seems that this meeting is over," said Dumbledore. "Time to wake up."

"Wait!" Snape said, clinging to the chair as the floor trembled furiously. "Will I see you again?"

"Oh, I wouldn't bet against it," said Dumbledore with a wink, and before Snape knew it he was lifted out of the dream and into his room in Gryffindor tower. The shaking, however, continued.

Snape leapt out of bed just in time; for as soon as he reached the door his mattress shuddered and, with a loud _bang, _exploded in a whirl of fabric, springs, and cotton.

He swore loudly and ran over to another four-poster, ripping the curtains away furiously, only to find that it was empty. He did the same to the three remaining, and discovered the same thing. He stood alone in the darkness.

Then, remembering that James Potter possessed an Invisibility Cloak, Snape became unsure of whether or not he was really alone. At once he seized his wand and his cloak and stormed out the door.

His feet carried him all the way out the portrait hole and down to the dungeons. He hadn't even noticed he was heading that way until he passed the door to his old office. It was Professor Slughorn's office now, and Snape had to check himself on the urge to go inside. He continued walking, his mind deep in thought.

It was difficult to fight such a battle, Snape knew this for certain. For many years he had looked back on his schooling and he knew now of all the things he should have done differently. Never should he have joined the Death Eaters and lose himself in the Dark Arts. Never should he have thrown around words like 'Mudblood' as if they didn't hold such vile meaning.

But now that he was back, and so determined to come out on top, he found himself facing the same problems he did before. Except now these problems were sleeping in the same room as him.

These were the forces that tore him apart. Despite what Dumbledore had said, Snape didn't see a way he could befriend Potter and the others. There was nothing about them worth befriending. But with that in mind, would he be able to endure seven more years of torment? And worse, without the support of the Death Eaters, would he be able to do it alone?

He sighed heavily and collapsed against a wall. It was cold and hard and damp, and offered him no comfort in his misery. He was fighting what seemed more and more like a losing battle.

Then in his destitution he thought of Lily- of her smile and of her love, things he could never and had never been able to replace in all his lifetime- and just like that he remembered what he was fighting for.


	6. Chapter 6: Lupin's Fear

So all yesterday this site wouldn't let me log in. Annoying!

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**Chapter 6:**

**Lupin's Fear**

Snape slept in the Room of Requirement the night his bed was ripped to shreds. He first found the room when he was in his third year (he needed a place to hide from James and Sirius and it had fashioned itself into a broom cupboard), though he didn't realize what it truly was until he became a teacher. And so after his dream of Dumbledore, Snape journeyed to the seventh floor and found the large tapestry depicting Barnabas the Barmy teaching trolls to dance. He walked back and forth before the blank wall, concentrating hard on a place to sleep, and when he opened his eyes there was a handsome oak door that held behind it the most comfortable bed Snape had ever slept in.

He didn't tell Lily anything about what had happened the next day, and Sunday came and went in a haze of awkward avoidance. James, Sirius and Peter did not dare say anything to Snape's face, but still managed to snicker and talk in hushed whispers whenever he passed them. Remus, on the other hand, tensed whenever he saw him, fearful that his secret would be exposed. That night, before any of them had gone to bed, Snape fixed his four-poster with one big sweep of his wand (_"Reparo!"_) and went to bed early.

The following day started a new week of their classes. After breakfast they had Transfiguration with McGonagall, where they were turning pots into hats (extra points were given for creativity, points deducted if it still had a handle).

Snape and Lily had successfully turned theirs into bright, red Santa hats, and McGonagall was so pleased that she gave them ten points each to Gryffindor. These points would be quickly taken away, however, after class had ended. As everyone was heading out the door, McGonagall called to Snape, who was the last to leave. Lily waited by the door.

"Severus, would you please take this note to Professor Slughorn on your way to Potions?" she asked, handing him an envelope. "I need to borrow some cauldrons for the second years."

"Right away, Minerva."

As soon as the words had slipped out of his mouth, Snape knew he would be in trouble. Lily clapped a hand over her mouth in horror, McGonagall turned an instant bright red.

"MR. SNAPE!" she barked. Her lips were nothing but a thin line. "You will address me as 'Professor' or 'ma'am' _only!"_

"Er... yes ma'am."

"How dare you- I've never had a student-" She was so distraught that her words came out in small, angry bursts. "Detention! Tonight! I will inform Pringle at once."

"Y-yes."

Snape and Lily walked as quickly as they could to their next class, both with faces as red as their Santa hats.

"What were you _thinking,_ Sev?" Lily groaned as they entered the dungeon. "Calling a professor by their _first name?"_

"I didn't realize I was saying it," said Snape, upset with himself. "Damn."

_I called her 'Minerva' everyday when I was a teacher,_ Snape thought, heading to the front desk and handing Slughorn the letter. _I can't let myself slip up again..._

-

It wasn't until later that Snape realized that his meeting with Lucius Malfoy and the Slytherins was tonight, and that he would miss it while he was in detention. He wondered if he could send a note to Lucius somehow. If he didn't turn up at the old Runes classroom they would think he stood them up...

But then a part of himself said that maybe it was for the best. Maybe he should avoid his old Death Eater friends altogether if he wanted a better life. Another part of himself desperately wanted to go, for Snape had been forming a plan at the back of his mind since his dream with Dumbledore. Perhaps if he could infiltrate the group, like he had done with Voldemort, and stop them early on from joining his forces... maybe it would be enough to keep the Dark Lord from gaining too much power. Maybe that was what Dumbledore was hinting at in his dream. Perhaps there was another reason for going back in time. He could win the girl _and_ beat the bad guy...

It was a nice plan, and Snape was pleased with the mental image of himself standing victoriously over Voldemort, Lily in his arms with love in her beautiful green eyes. But the image was dashed that night as he headed to Pringle's office.

Apollyon Pringle was the current caretaker of Hogwarts and it was with him that Snape would be spending his detention. Snape would have preferred Filch- not because he knew him, though it wouldn't matter anyway as they had not yet met- but because Pringle was infamously known as the last Hogwarts caretaker to use corporal punishment on students.

As Snape made his way down to Pringle's office, passing one dusty suit of armor after another, his mind wandered up to the fourth floor where Malfoy and the Slytherins were undoubtedly already gathering. Kicking himself for what he had done for the umpteenth time, Snape arrived outside Pringle's door and knocked. There was a shuffling and a clank from inside as Snape could have sworn he heard what sounded like the sharpening of a knife, before the door opened and out stepped a hunched man.

The caretaker position at Hogwarts seemed only to go to a particular type of person; Pringle, like Filch, was a crotchety and grimy-looking man with an obvious distaste for children. He stared at Snape with bulging yellow eyes that seemed to light up at the sight of fresh meat. Snape wondered what his punishment would be. Lashings? Being hung upside down by the ankles?

"Come in," said Pringle in a gravelly voice. Snape hesitated, then entered, and Pringle closed the door behind him.

Snape surveyed the room and was horrified. He had never gotten detention with Pringle before, and wasn't expecting what he saw: cuffs and chains hanging from the stone wall, shelves of leather straps and whips laid out like some sort of sick trophy display, and a man-sized closet in the corner with gruesome red stains coming from the corners.

"You kids these days... think you've got some sort of entitlement that lets you treat adults as equals. Well, you're _wrong,_ boy. Dead wrong. You've got to _earn_ respect."

He picked up a hanging chain and let it go; it swung back and forth lazily. "Of course, I could always_ beat_ it into you..."

He hobbled over to the shelf and Snape swallowed hard. But just as Pringle reached for a particularly thick strap of hide, a loud banging issued from outside the room.

Pringle turned. "What was that?" he growled and eyed Snape, who looked as surprised as he was.

"Bloody school..." he mumbled, hobbling over to the door. "Bloody kids... bloody Peeves..."

Snape watched as Pringle slouched out of sight. Not really knowing what to do with himself, he waited still as a statue, listening for sounds outside and wondering if he could make a run for it...

All of a sudden there was another loud _bang_ from outside, a scream, and then the clanging of metal. Snape's heart skipped a beat, then he drew his wand from his pocket and aimed it at the door as it slowly opened. A platinum blonde head popped out from the other side.

_"Lucius?"_

"I heard you got detention and thought I'd drop by," the tall Slytherin said. "Now put that thing away and come on."

"How did you know I was here?" asked Snape, putting away his wand and following Lucius into the corridor. He looked around and found it was deserted. "And what happened to Pringle?"

"Oh, don't worry about him," said Lucius. "He had to- erm- step out for a bit."

As they walked down the hall they passed a suit of armor, and Snape could see that it was slightly askew, as if something large had been stuffed inside of it.

They walked in silence until they reached an unused classroom in the fourth floor. Lucius stepped forward and, with a small smile to Snape, opened the door, gesturing him inside.

"Sorry for the wait, everyone. Severus here got into a little trouble. But no worries now." Lucius led him into the room, which was cleared of everything save a few discarded desks. Sitting on them were the exact group of people Snape had expected to see: there was Mulciber, who was in his year, Avery, Wilkes, Narcissa, and Rosier.

Lucius introduced them one by one, and they regarded Snape politely but shrewdly, due to the fact that he was a Gryffindor. Then Lucius did something Snape was not prepared for- he gestured to the window.

Standing by the window were three people Snape did not recognize, and when he saw them his mouth almost dropped. They were not Slytherins, but two Hufflepuffs and a Ravenclaw. The Hufflepuffs were both young boys- perhaps first or second years- both were slouched and skinny, with hair that grew down and almost covered their eyes, as if to hide them from something. They were twins.

The Ravenclaw was a girl, perhaps in her third year, with long, curly dark hair. Her eyes were piercing and shaped like a cat's, and were made all the more penetrating by the large amount of eye makeup she wore. Her skin was very tan and her figure very shapely. She was very attractive in an obvious sort of way- and Snape wondered what in the world someone like her would be doing here.

"Severus, this is Nathan and John Hogan, and Esther Keefe," said Lucius. "They also have a bit of Slytherin in them, if I may say so. But that doesn't matter." He swept the room with his arm. "Petty differences like school house mean nothing in the long run, do they? As long as one's values are in the right place."

Snape listened to him carefully. Malfoy wouldn't mention Voldemort or blood status just quite yet. That would take time; Snape and the others would have to show some commitment before being asked to join the future Death Eaters. He would have to stay friendly for months, maybe even years. He thought of Lily and what she would think if she knew of such friends. What if she left him like last time? No, he wouldn't let that happen. He knew better than to call her "Mudblood" this time around.

Without any mention of the Dark Lord, Snape found the gathering rather dull. He mingled a bit with the people there, careful to seem surprised or impressed when they mentioned their riches or their wizarding family history. Snape had heard it all before and found himself wanting to leave as soon as possible.

One thing did stick on his mind, however. And that was the presence of the other three. The two Hufflepuffs were chatting with Avery and Wilkes by the door. The Ravenclaw girl was talking to Narcissa Black, and, feeling curious, Snape walked over and joined them.

"The last time I left the country was when I went to Aspen for the summer," Narcissa was saying. "I thought it was quite overrated, to be honest..."

"How well-off _are _you, Narcissa?" Esther asked, smiling. Her voice was rich and deep, but still very feminine. "Every time I hear you talk you're going on about the Swiss Alps or Venice."

Snape half-expected Narcissa to be insulted by this, but instead the blonde girl laughed. "I do lead a charmed life, don't I?" she tittered. "One of the perks of being from a pure family I suppose."

"I see," Esther said. She looked to Snape curiously. "And what's your story?" she asked. "Severus, wasn't it?"

"Lucius met him in the library," Narcissa butted in and turned to Snape. "He says you're interested in the Dark Arts?"

"Yes, I am," said Snape. "And yourselves?"

"Oh, my family is well endowed in Dark Magic," Narcissa drawled.

Esther eyed Snape. "My father dabbles in it," she said carefully. "He taught me some things... nothing too impressive."

As her gaze was locked with Snape's, he had an idea. If he could just keep eye contact, maybe he could learn something about the girl without anyone knowing.

"What does your father do?" he asked.

"Retired," she said. "He used to work in Transylvania collecting magical artifacts, but he got fed up with the vampires and left." Her eyes did not stray from his. "Now he stays at home mostly, reading books and teaching himself the lost arts."

There it was, the perfect opportunity. As she spoke he saw her body relax just a tiny bit, her mind concentrating on what she was saying, and Snape silently thought:

_"Legilimens!"_

Snape had mastered Legilimency and Occlumency shortly after leaving Hogwarts and they had proved to be two of the most useful skills he had ever acquired. Let alone the fact that they had saved his life countless times and protected him from the Dark Lord, they were also handy in learning the more intimate details of a person without them even realizing it. Together, they were a very advanced form of magic that he had undergone strict discipline to achieve. He wondered faintly why he hadn't thought to use them in his new life until now, but he quickly pushed that thought away. His only focus was that of entering Esther Keefe's mind.

But something was different this time. As hard as he concentrated, he couldn't seem to project his mind forward. His eyes bore into hers, his mind in full concentration. _Perhaps I'm rusty,_ he thought.

He was practically leaning forward when Esther Keefe blinked, breaking contact and forcing Snape back into his own conscience.

"Er, Narcissa Black, was it?" Snape said hurriedly, trying to act as though he hadn't just tried to infiltrate the mind of a total stranger. "Are you perchance related to Sirius Black?"

"Ugh," the girl sneered. "He's an ungrateful git if there ever was one."

"Who's Sirius Black?" Esther asked.

"My cousin- the "black sheep" so to speak. Every member of our family has been in Slytherin. The family tree goes back centuries, until now. The little prick got himself Sorted into Gryffindor."

She looked quickly to Snape. "Not that there's anything _wrong_ with that-"

"No, it's fine," he said. "To be honest I wanted very badly to be in Slytherin. But the Sorting Hat had other plans for me."

"Such a shame," said Narcissa, making a face. "If we were all in Slytherin we wouldn't have to meet in this old classroom. We could just use the common room."

"So we will be having other meetings then?" Esther said. Snape noted the slight eagerness in her voice, though she hid it well.

"Oh, naturally," said Narcissa. "Though I do hope there are more girls next time." She took Esther by the arm and led her to the window, as girls tend to do oftentimes, to be alone.

For the rest of the night an impatient Snape stuck by Mulciber, who had been a good friend of his when he was in Slytherin. Mulciber had a nasty sense of humor, and frequently looked over at the girls by the window. "That Esther Keefe," he mumbled. "I'd like to get her alone in a classroom sometime, eh?"

It took nearly three hours for the gathering to end, and Snape said his goodbyes and walked somewhat quickly out the door at around midnight. He could not have gotten away faster.

Something was very wrong. Who were those people? In all his school years the first time around, Snape's small but tight-knit group had only ever included Slytherins. But Hufflepuffs? And a Ravenclaw? Something wasn't right at all.

It was as if all the air had been sucked out of the castle; Snape was finding it difficult to breathe and loosened the tie around the neck. Rounding a corner, he burst into the boys' lavatory, yanking off his outer robe completely. He flung it to the floor and preceded to splash water on his face.

And what was more alarming: he hadn't been about to use Legilimency. It wasn't as if he'd forgotten how to do it, but more like the magic required for it was being stunted, trapped within his small body.

He stood there slumped against the sink, his head hanging low, as if weighed down by all the questions inside of it. Then he heard the bathroom door open, even though it was the middle of the night.

"How did you know?"

Snape looked up to the mirror and saw the reflection of Remus Lupin standing behind him. His face was pale and there were dark circles under his eyes.

"What?"

"I said how did you know?" Remus said a bit more forcefully than was necessary. His voice was trembling, his fists clenching, and Snape could tell it was taking a lot of nerve on Remus's part to say what he was saying.

And then Snape could hear Dumbledore's voice clearly in his head: _"__You can't argue that your life at Hogwarts would have been a much more pleasant one if you hadn't had such enemies..."_

"Don't worry," he sighed. "I won't tell anyone."

"That doesn't answer my question," said Remus quietly. "How did you find out?"

Snape dried his hands and turned, leaning on the sink behind him. "I overhead Dumbledore telling McGonagall," he lied. "About the Whomping Willow and the Shrieking Shack. No one else heard it. No one else knows that you're a werewolf."

Remus visibly shuddered at the word. His shoulders sank a little, and he said, "If they knew... if anyone found out they'd hate me... James and Sirius and Peter..."

Whether it was the terror in Lupin's voice, or the way he seemed to have lost sleep with worry, Snape felt a tiny, miniscule ounce of pity for the boy standing in front of him. And it was because of this that he said, "No they wouldn't. Potter, Black and Pettigrew... they wouldn't abandon you. They aren't like that."

"You don't know what it's like," said Remus, not listening. "It was a miracle they even allowed me to come to Hogwarts. If word got around- if the parents found out- I'd be kicked out at once. Dumbledore wouldn't be able to do anything for me."

There was a moment of silence, the only sound was the dripping of a faucet. Snape scooped his robe from the floor and swept across the bathroom, passing Lupin and opening the door. "I told you I wouldn't say anything," he said and exited, leaving the weary boy alone in the bathroom.

* * *

.

...

Damn this chapter is long.


	7. Chapter 7: Flying

Kind of short but I updated quickly! Thanks for all your great reviews!

* * *

**Chapter 7:**

**Flying**

Snape had thought that the meeting with the Slytherins, though tedious, had gone rather well. Lucius had not said anything about Voldemort, as Snape hadn't really expected him to, but it had still been an opportunity to rub shoulders with some of Voldemort's future followers. The only problem that arose happened the following day when he was stopped by Professor McGonagall in the hallway on his way to lunch.

"Mr. Snape, may I have a word?" she said, gesturing to an empty classroom. He followed her inside, wondering what she wanted to talk about. When she had closed the door behind her, she said, "I wanted to talk to you about your detention last night with Mr. Pringle."

Snape heart beat accelerated, but he kept his voice steady. "Yes, ma'am?"

McGonagall gave him a steely gaze. "Mr. Pringle was found this morning in a suit of armor near his office. He's fine, physically speaking, but he can't remember anything about how he got there. He also doesn't remember ever seeing you, Mr. Snape."

Snape's throat had gone dry. Would it be best to lie? He couldn't rat out Lucius...

"I don't know anything about that, Professor," he said, his face showing nothing but bewilderment. "I went to my detention and left an hour later. He seemed fine to me when I was with him."

She bore into his eyes for what seemed like full minutes, and Snape was glad at that moment that McGonagall wasn't a Legilimens.

"I am inclined to believe you," she said finally. "You are a good student and belong to my own house, Mr. Snape, and I really can't see you doing something like this. Granted, Pringle _has_ been known to make enemies. It could have been any number of students who bore a grudge against him. But I will say this much-" and she fixed him with another stern look. "I will keep an eye on you. Should something like this happen again I will be forced to question further."

"I understand," said Snape. And he was dismissed.

-

There were no further problems for the rest of the week, and on Saturday the first years found themselves gathered outside on the chilly grounds for their first flying lesson. Lily was very nervous about flying, though ever since she had watched the Gryffindor Quidditch team practice she was keen to try it at least once. She found some comfort in her friends, however. Kendra assured her that hardly anyone ever got hurt their first time flying, as long as they didn't slip off their broom in midair. Lily had lost some color to hearing this, but Snape nudged her gently.

"She's only joking. Get a broom next to mine and I'll make sure you don't fall."

Lily gave him a grateful smile.

The flying instructor was a thin, wispy man named Fernando Flippant, who claimed that he had once taught the Quidditch league's fastest flyer, Zephyr Adcelero, how to correctly hold his broom handle when flying. Flippant had wide, watery eyes and white flyaway hair that defied the laws of gravity by sticking out straight behind him, giving everyone the impression that he had just stepped out from a wind tunnel. As he strode towards them underneath a sunny but cloudy sky, he held his wand aloft; floating behind him was a long line of hovering broomsticks.

"Everyone, line up!" he hollered. "One broomstick per person- no sharing!"

Lily took her place next to Snape as the broomsticks floated over the first years' heads, one by one dropping neatly in front of their feet. Snape took a moment to look around. On Lily's other side stood Kendra and Mary, and some feet behind them were James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter. He swiveled his head around and caught Mulciber's eye. The Slytherin gave him a wink.

"So!" said Flippant, his eyes wide with anticipation. "Welcome to your first flying lesson, young ones! I do hope you can all walk away today with the thrill of flight in your hearts!"

James and Sirius sniggered loudly from the back. Flippant didn't seem to notice.

"Now first things first- I want you all to hold out your wand arms above your brooms and say, very clearly: 'Up!'"

"UP!" everyone shouted. Because the school brooms were very old and worn, only a handful of them made any movement at all. Some merely flopped once and rolled over. Snape's, at least, rose to his waist, and he bent to catch it. Lily's gave a jerk upward and she shrank away from it, letting it drop back down. Only James was able to command his broom perfectly- it jumped right into his outstretched hand, only to have Sirius knock it out at once.

"Okay," Flippant was saying, not really surprised at the brooms' shabby performance. "Now I want everyone to mount their brooms and kick off from the ground lightly- not too hard or you'll rise too high! Remember our dear friend Daedalus, who flew too high to the sun and had his wings melt right off!"

"Daedalus has got nothing on me," James boasted loudly, and was the first to kick off, rising a good twenty feet in the air. A lot of people gasped, some clapped and whistled. Lily and Snape exchanged looks and ignored them.

"Okay," Lily breathed, swinging one leg around her broom. "One... two... three!"

She kicked off from the cold ground and rose six feet, gripping her broom handle tightly and wobbling a little from side to side. Snape hovered a few feet below her protectively.

Kendra and Mary kept close to the ground, as did Remus. Peter, not having any control over his broom, rose steadily, hanging sloth-like with his pudgy hands and feet wrapped around the broomstick.

It took nearly an hour for everyone to successfully make their way into the air, but no one was complaining. Aside from one Hufflepuff who, instead of rising on his broom, shot forward like a bullet and knocked Flippant right in the stomach, there were no outstanding problems, and soon they were flying as high as thirty feet into the sky.

"Oi! Peter! Try a loop-de-loop!"

"No way, Sirius, I'll fall and break my neck!"

"Someone like you, Pete? You'd just bounce."

"Hey, Remus!" James called from above. "Why are you flying so low? Come up here with me!"

Remus, who was one of the lower flyers, couldn't keep his eyes off the ground. "It's too high... I think I'm gonna go back down..."

Just then Kendra flew past him. "Don't be scared, Remus," she said. "Flippant's got his wand out. He'll catch you."

"Yeah right," Sirius laughed. "Flippant still looks like he's going to throw up after that kid rammed into him."

Lily and Mary giggled as they looked down at the flying instructor. He did have his wand out, but he was still rubbing his stomach and occasionally doubling over to dry heave.

"Severus is doing well," Remus offered, trying to drive the attention away from himself. Indeed, Snape had flown many times in his life (sometimes even without the aid of a broomstick) and was high up in the sky, the chilly wind blowing his long black hair out of his face.

Lily pointed her broomstick upward and shot over to join him. "Sev!" she shouted. "Race me!"

"I don't want to embarrass you, Lily," he quipped, looking over at her airily. "Not in front of everyone like this."

"I'll make you eat those words, Snape," Lily shot back. She sped forward Snape bolted after her, their brooms rising higher and higher until they were far away from the cluster of first years. The air grew colder and the wind blew harder; but the thrill of soaring through the sky, weightless upon their wooden broomsticks, pushed all worries from their minds. Snape forgot all about Lucius and the future Death Eaters and the suspicions of Professor McGonagall. He gathered speed and passed Lily, leaving a gust of wind in his wake. She threw back her head and laughed, kicking her legs out and leaning back on her broom, her dark red hair tossing and shining brilliantly in the sunlight. Snape made a wide turn back to her, and they circled each other among the clouds like two birds in flight.

"This isn't anything like I imagined!" she called loudly, her voice muffled by the wind.

"It isn't?!"

"No! It's way better!"

Snape laughed and they flew in a tighter circle, so that their brooms followed the tail of the other. With a rush of courage Lily lifted one hand off of her broom, now flying over sixty feet in the air, and held it out to him. He hesitated, then slowly reached out to her with his own.

"HEAD'S UP!"

They were forced apart when a black blur shot in between them from below.

"James Potter!" Lily shouted. "You almost knocked me off my broom!"

"You know you really shouldn't be up this high," he said reproachfully. His messy black hair was made even more untidy in the wind. "You're only beginners and you could just as easily fall and die. Come back down with me, Lily. Snape, you can stay here."

"Shove off, Potter," said Lily hotly, drifting over next to Snape. "You only make yourself look stupid when you have to bring others down to feel good about yourself."

"That's really rude to say, Lily. I was just trying to help you out. It looked like Snivellus was going to pull you off your broom..."

Lily opened her mouth to retort, but Snape held out his hand. "Don't bother, Lily," he said. "James is right; we shouldn't be up this high."

"But-"

"Look- Flippant's throwing up everywhere. It's time to go."

Feeling annoyed and disappointed, Lily followed Snape and James to the ground. They tossed their brooms into a large stack that had already been made and headed back to the castle.

As James joined his friends, Lily frowned at Snape. "Why didn't you stick up for yourself?" she demanded. "You let James walk all over you!"

"It's not worth it," Snape said, making his way to the front doors of the castle. "He's just a kid."

"He's our age!"

"I mean he acts like a child. What do you expect me to do?"

Lily cast her eyes around the castle walls in the entrance hall and stared at the back of James as he followed his friends up the staircase. "I guess you're right. It would only provoke him..."

"Still," Snape said, pulling out his wand. "It doesn't hurt to have a little safeguard for the future."

He pointed it at James's pocket and muttered, _"Accio wand!" _As James walked forward, his wand slipped out of his pocket and flew through the air into Snape's hand. He showed it to Lily before chucking it out the front door and into the grassy lawn.

"Brilliant!" she exclaimed. "How long do you think 'til he notices?"

Snape watched as the black-haired boy walked out of sight. "Not very. Let's go to dinner."

And they entered the Great Hall to eat, their hair sticking up in all directions from the wind.


	8. Chapter 8: The Badge and the Watch

**Chapter 8:**

**The Badge and the Watch**

The remaining weeks of term rolled on and soon Hogwarts was hidden under a blanket of thick, white snow. The students finished their midterms just in time for the Christmas holidays, and there was a great deal of buzzing as everyone discussed their plans for the break. Those who were to spend their vacation at home would be leaving tomorrow, and Snape and Lily found themselves sitting in the common room next to a blazing fire playing a game of wizard chess.

"I'm sorry that you have to stay here for the holidays," Lily said, commanding a pawn forward. "There won't be many people. It could get very boring... If you were home we could see each other. Maybe it won't be so bad with your-"

"I don't want to see my parents," said Snape casually. Though he hadn't seen his mother and father since being back in his young body, he wasn't in any hurry to do so. "Besides, you should spend time with your family."

"I hope Petunia isn't upset with me."

"She won't be. Shoot, you took my knight."

"I don't know... I've tried writing to her for the past three months and she never replies. Maybe if I bring her some chocolate frogs... She'll love them. Oh, I forgot, which way does the little tower move to again?"

"Don't bother with that one, you'll just lose sooner."

"I'm going to jinx you."

The fire gave a particularly loud crack as a log was split in two. After Snape's bishop knocked Lily's king off the board, they decided to take a walk around the castle to stretch their legs. Clamoring out of the portrait hole, Lily started a new subject.

"Can I ask you a question, Sev?" she said as they headed toward the North Tower, the portraits looking lazily in their direction as they passed.

"Go ahead."

"Do you know anything about Lucius Malfoy?"

Snape stopped walking, Lily turned around to face him. When he didn't say anything, Lily continued. "It's just that Mary... she was talking to this fifth year- her name was Demora, I think, and she said..."

Suddenly, Lily shook her head. "Nevermind, it's stupid."

"No, Lily-" Snape said. "You can tell me. What is it?"

Though he insisted that she finish her thought, Snape's stomach clenched with fear. What was being said about Malfoy? Had someone seen Snape and Lucius talking? Snape thought he'd been successful in keeping a low profile, trying to avoid the Slytherins so he that wouldn't be associated with their group. There were the times when Lucius or Wilkes or Mulciber would stop him in the hall just to chat, but it wasn't as if he'd been paling around with them...

"See, Demora has a class with this guy called Lucius Malfoy, and she hears things he says and..."

Again, Lily's voice trailed off as she gave Snape a long, meaningful look. He waited.

Then it spilled out of her mouth in one big rush: "Do you think I'll ever be kicked out of Hogwarts because I'm Muggle-born?"

Snape stared at her for a second, then he closed his eyes and breathed a sigh of relief. When he opened them again, Lily was looking at him incredulously.

"Why do you look so happy? Are you laughing at me?"

"What? No, it's nothing," he said, trying and failing to suppress a smile. "What in the world would make you think you'd be kicked out of Hogwarts?"

Lily sighed. "This Malfoy guy says there are a lot of wizards who think only pure-bloods should be allowed to learn magic. He says that there are powerful wizards who-"

"Lily, why do you care what some stranger says about Muggle-borns? You know, wizards and witches take their heritage and use it to give themselves an ego-trip because they can't magic their way out of a paper bag."

"I know, but-"

"_You're_ a Muggle-born, aren't you? And you're excellent at Transfiguration, top of our class in Charms..."

"Okay, okay, I get it," Lily said with a smile, and they began walking again. "What does this Lucius Malfoy know, anyway? Bet he's a snob."

"He is."

"Oh, you know him?"

Snape paused. "No," he said. "But with a name like 'Lucius' I can only assume the worst."

Lily laughed, and Snape felt his heart flutter at the sound. They were about to turn a corner when they heard distinct voices coming from the other side. They exchanged looks and, without saying a word, stepped into an empty classroom. The voices were very clear as they pressed their ears to the door.

"-going to my house in Dagenham. Mum says she making five kinds of pudding for Christmas dinner. What about you, Sirius?"

"I don't even want to think about home," came Sirius's voice. "I won't hear the end of it from _my_ mum. Did you know she almost keeled over when she found out I'd been sorted into Gryffindor? Can you believe it? If only she hadn't recovered..."

"Your mother can't be all that bad," Remus said.

"You've never met the hag."

"Too bad," said James. "I hear Snape's staying at Hogwarts and I'd love a chance to go at him. I think he's the one who chucked my wand, the bastard."

When their voices faded down the corridor, Snape and Lily emerged from the classroom.

"Well," said Lily. "There goes _one_ reason to stay here over the break. They'd better not sit next to me on the train..."

-

Lily left the next morning, as did her friends Mary and Kendra. James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter also took the train home, leaving Snape completely alone in the Gryffindor common room that day. Snape was reading a book Lucius had lent him. It was an old Dark Arts tome that Lucius had brought from his manor and Snape was devouring its contents with an enthusiasm he'd normally hide in public. It was both a relief and a bore to be the only Gryffindor in the tower, as Snape was pleased with the quiet but missed Lily more than he thought he would. It was the first time he had gone a whole say without seeing her. But her presence was not forgotten when Christmas day came.

The day arrived before Snape knew it and when he awoke he found two small packages sitting by his feet.

He sat upright on his pillows and grabbed the first package, which was wrapped in shiny crimson paper. He knew exactly who it was from and what it contained, for he could remember vividly what Lily had given him their first Christmas at Hogwarts: A badge of Slytherin's crest, shining silver and emerald with a twisted serpent on the front. Lily had charmed it to make the serpent move, which, given her magical ability at the time, wore off after a few days. Despite this, Snape had kept it even after they had long left Hogwarts. He thought about his house on Spinner's End. If someone searched the house after he died (in some alternate reality, Snape guessed) they would have found it, rusted with age, in a drawer in the parlor.

But he wasn't in Slytherin this time. Snape opened the package curiously. Inside there was still a gleaming badge, but this one was crimson and gold with a rearing lion blazened across the front. The lion was bewitched and he could see it tossing and roaring silently as it shone.

And again, just like last time, there was a note from Lily underneath it.

_Dear Sev,_

_Merry Christmas! Do you like your present? I had to get Flitwick to help me with the charm to get it moving (but I don't think I did it right so it may stop moving after a week or so)._

_I know you wanted to be in Slytherin (and don't hate me for saying this) but I actually felt kind of relieved when the Sorting Hat put you in Gryffindor. I know we'll have a fantastic time here at Hogwarts, just wait._

_Lots of love,_

_Lily_

Snape read the letter over and over, a small smile on his face. He took the badge and the note and gingerly placed them in the drawer by his bed. He settled back on his pillows and reached for the second package, and when he read the card his stomach gave a jolt- it was from his parents.

Unlike the gift from Lily, Snape couldn't seem to remember what this present would be. He tore the wrappings off and found a small, brown box. He lifted the lid. Inside was a very old, very ugly watch. It didn't seem to be working.

He picked it up and stared at it, turning the watch over in his hands. The memory of it was faint, but there. It had been his uncle's, and his mother called it a 'family heirloom.' But Snape grimaced at it. It wasn't special- it was garbage. His mother was just too proud to admit that they were poor, and made up reasons for providing her son with less than adequate gifts for Christmas.

He pocketed the watch, making a mental note to throw it in the trash later, and got dressed. He went down to breakfast, ate quickly, then ran back up to get his book before retreating to the library to read some more of it.

The library at this time was completely empty. Because there were no classes to study for (and over half the students were gone anyway) the library was abandoned. Only Madam Pince saw Snape enter, eyeing him with a deadly gaze.

He settled down at a table and read peaceably for over an hour, the heavy silence in the room providing him with security and tranquility. He turned the page, glancing up occasionally to find Madam Pince dusting off an Enchanted Encyclopedia or petting one of the more affectionate books across the spine. He was so absorbed in his book he failed to notice that another person had entered the library and he did not bother to look up when they walked to his table.

"It's Severus, isn't it?"

Snape tore his eyes from his book and saw Esther Keefe standing in front of him. "That's right," he said. "How are you, Esther?"

"I'm doing quite well, actually," she said and sat down across from him. Her eyes were once again surrounded by dark makeup, which made them considerably more brighter when she gazed at him. Her voice came out rich and throaty, like chocolate. "I suppose we're some of the few who chose to spend Christmas here."

"You don't want to be home with your father?" asked Snape.

"No, I told him I wanted to study and get ahead for next term. He was pleased."

There followed an uncomfortable silence between them as Madam Pince glided between the shelves like a hawk, waiting for an excuse to kick them out of her library. But they only sat there, staring at each other. Snape was reminded of his Legilimency, and how he had failed to enter Esther's mind at Lucius's get-together. Snape had tried several times following that night; for months, whenever he had the opportunity, he would keep eye contact with a classmate or teacher, and each and every time he found himself unable to perform the spell.

"You're only a first year," Esther mused, bringing Snape back from his thoughts.

"Pardon?"

"I thought perhaps you were older," she said. "When we first met I found you considerably less dull than Wilkes or Avery, even though you didn't say much."

"I'll take that as a compliment," said Snape, and then he decided to ask a question that had been bothering him. "Say, if you don't mind me asking, but why did you go to that meeting, anyway?"

Esther's eyes wandered to the book he was holding. "I thought it would be interesting," she said simply. "I met Narcissa in the girls' bathroom one day and we got to talking about bloodlines. She talked all about Muggle-borns and blood traitors and the need for wizard purity. I'd never heard of such a concept until then. I'm pure-blood myself..."

Snape gripped his book. "I doubt there is any merit to such an idea. Muggle-borns have just as much magic as pure-bloods."

"Better not let Lucius hear you saying such things," said Esther. "Why did you go to that meeting, if you don't agree with their views?"

Snape raised his eyebrows. "I thought it would be interesting."

She gave him a piercing look. "I was sorely disappointed, you know. I thought Ravenclaws were supposed to be the smart ones but I have yet to meet anybody in my house that I feel even remotely equal to. Perhaps I've been looking in the wrong place."

Snape felt a sudden, compelling sense of uneasiness spread through him as he listened to her speak. Excusing himself, he stood and strode to the exit. He was about halfway there when he turned and saw Esther eyeing him from where she sat. Without realizing what he was doing, Snape concentrated on her cat-like eyes, losing himself in their icy stare, and muttered "_Legilimens!_"

He felt himself rush forward like a phantom, desperately trying to break through the barrier and into her mind. He went farther than he had ever gotten in this life- he saw a flash of an image for a mere fraction of a second.

Then Snape felt a great resistance pushing him, and the next second he was being forced back into his own body against his will. He blinked rapidly and, to his horror, saw Esther Keefe smile knowingly and shake her head in disapproval.

He turned and walked calmly out of the library, praying the terrible panic he felt wasn't showing in his face.

* * *

...


	9. Chapter 9: End of Term

I'm fast forwarding like a mofo with this chapter. I'm cramming the rest of the first year into it so I can get on to the second year. Yay second year.

(Thanks again for the reviews, favs and alerts!)

* * *

**Chapter 9:**

**End of Term**

Severus Snape's first year at Hogwarts was almost complete, and it had turned out to be a far better year than his first time living it; the bullies that had been a constant misery to him were no longer capable of bringing him down, his classes were incredibly easy, and he was able to avoid many of the mistakes he had made when he was a child. At times it was almost tedious, though having beside him his best friend Lily more than made up for any adversity he encountered.

But there were also things that had taken Snape by surprise- his magic seemed vastly less powerful, rendering him unable to perform some of the more complex spells, including his ability to invade and protect the mind. He was also baffled by events that did not play out as they should have, particularly the new additions to the Death Eaters. Among them was Esther Keefe, who gave Snape more than enough reasons to avoid her. He didn't have much difficulty with that because, for some unexplainable reason, Esther Keefe acted as though he didn't exist. Ever since their conversation in the library, whenever he passed her in the corridors between classes or in the Great Hall at meals, she would keep her cat-like gaze straight ahead, her expression of complete indifference.

Lucius Malfoy, as well as Wilkes and Avery and Mulciber, would often spend time with Snape, though he always made sure it was in a place none of the other Gryffindors could find: the back of the library, the school's Owlery, even the edge of the Forbidden Forest. They discussed various topics, but mostly their talks centered around blood purity and the Dark Arts. Often they would express their disapproval at any Muggle-born that happened to cross them. Though Snape played along, he always tensed and hoped that their conversations would never involve Lily.

James and Sirius had relented in their pranks, having found that it was no fun when Snape did not outwardly lash back, though they continued their snide remarks on his appearance and attitude. Peter joined in oftentimes, mostly adding only small, insignificant insults that Snape ignored. Remus was the only one that kept quiet, still apprehensive about trusting Snape, but grateful that he had not confessed his secret.

And so it was like this that the days turned into weeks, which passed into months. The holidays came and went: first New Year's, then Valentine's Day, then the Easter holidays; and soon it was time for final exams. Snape and Lily came out top of their class in all their tests (he had remembered nearly every subject that was on them, and made sure she studied all of the right things) and celebrated with long walks by the lake, watching the giant squid drift lazily near the glistening surface. It was like a wonderful dream for Snape, watching Lily laugh and dip her legs into the warm water. At times like these, when he lay in the grass and watched the clouds float by, he pondered whether or not he had ever known such contentment in all his years at Hogwarts.

All too soon, it was the End-of-Term Feast (Ravenclaw had won the House Cup- many of the Gryffindors blamed James and Sirius for losing so many of their points) and, stuffed full from their dinner and too tired to cause a ruckus, the Gryffindor first years retired to their dorms. Snape fell asleep almost at once, and for the second time since his death, he had a dream.

He was an adult again and he was standing across from Dumbledore in the Headmaster's office. It took him a moment to figure out where he was, but when he did he was not surprised.

"Good evening, Severus," said Dumbledore from behind his grand desk.

"Good evening, sir," Snape replied. "It's good to see you again."

"I'm glad to hear that! And has your first year been as gratifying as you hoped?"

"It's had its moments," said Snape, lowering himself into the chair across from the old wizard. "Some things refuse to change, however."

Dumbledore chuckled. "Such things take time, Severus. Has Lily been well?"

"So far, yes," said Snape, and his voice softened. "She is... just as I remember..."

"You have a great memory then, Severus. I find that I tend to embellish my favorite recollections as time goes on."

Snape nodded, staring around the office. "Sir," he said. "There are some things I need to ask you."

"Indeed?"

"Yes, it's... well, some things_ are _different. There are things that I don't remember happening. And I'm sure they didn't happen when I lived through this the first time."

"Such as...?"

Snape leaned forward. "I met with Malfoy and the Death Eaters. Well, they aren't Death Eaters yet, but... But there were more people with them this time. And they weren't Slytherins."

"Hm," said Dumbledore. "You are surprised by this?"

"Of course I am! The Dark Lord's early supporters have only_ ever _been Slytherins! I've never even seen the Hogan twins... or that Esther Keefe."

"Oh, I remember them," said Dumbledore. "Though _why_ I haven't a clue. They were not very outstanding students, so to speak. Keefe's father, I know, was a very powerful warlock, very intelligent and ambitious for his one and only daughter. She, however, kept under the radar during her Hogwarts years. I've no idea what she did with herself after she left."

"But she wasn't a Death Eater!" cried Snape. "I don't understand! Why is it different this time?"

Dumbledore seemed to contemplate this for a few moments. Then said, "It must have something to do with you being in Gryffindor."

Snape seemed confused. Dumbledore shrugged.

"Well, you are the only factor in this time period that is different," explained Dumbledore. "Or perhaps..."

He trailed off, twiddling with his silver mustache. "Time is... very very fragile," he mused. "It is not meant to be retraced and altered. Do you know why there have been laws placed on wizards who wish to time travel?"

"'Because it could have dire consequences on their past and future selves'," Snape droned and rolled his eyes. "I know wizarding law, Albus, and it's not as if I arrived here via a _Time Turner_. I was dead and came back to life." He added in a low whisper, "for reasons that seem more and more like a practical joke every day."

"My only advice to you is that you make the most of what you have been given," said Dumbledore wisely, before adjusting his half-moon spectacles. "And, you know... try not to get yourself killed."

Snape sank into the chair in which he sat, thinking hard.

"Is there anything else you'd like to ask?" said Dumbledore.

"Yes, there is something," said Snape. "My Legilimency- it doesn't seem to work for me anymore."

"Ah, yes," said Dumbledore. "At last, a subject for which I can provide more than just an assumption. You see, Severus, advanced skills such as Occlumency and Legilimency require a certain degree of magic. Magic that your physical body, as it is now, cannot produce. You may know _how_ these spells work, but your eleven-year-old body does not yet have the magic or experience to perform them."

Snape thought this made sense. "But the girl... Esther Keefe... there was a moment where I could have sworn..."

His words drifted away, and Dumbledore looked at him expectedly. "Yes, Severus?"

Snape shook his head. "Nothing," he sighed. "I suppose... there are some things I should figure out for myself."

"That's the spirit!" said Dumbledore. "You may have already graduated Hogwarts once before, but there are always new things to learn within its walls! Would you like to ask me anything more?"

Snape stood. "No, Albus. There is nothing else."

"Then I will let you go. Until next year, Severus!" he called. The dream blurred, becoming a haze of color and shadow, and Snape awoke in his four-poster, surrounded by the now familiar crimson curtains.

-

Lily sat with him on the long train ride home, as did her friends Kendra and Mary, talking and joking as they played game after game of Exploding Snap. They made sure to sit in a compartment as far away from James and Sirius as they could, and were not bothered by them in the slightest as the Hogwarts Express wound its way through hill and valley in the British countryside. The sun was setting in a ruby red sky when they finally pulled into King's Cross station that afternoon.

"Sev, we have to see each other over the summer," Lily said, heaving her trunk onto the platform. "You can come by my house any time you like."

"I will, don't worry," he said, and watched her run over to her parents, who were standing very awkwardly as some of the few Muggles in a crowd of robed adults. Snape took his only trunk and began to look for his own mother.

Snape found her almost instantly. Indeed, she was very hard to miss. Mrs. Snape bore a striking resemblance to her son: she had a thin frame, and her skin was sallow and drawn. She had the look of a woman who had been through hardships in her life, and had accepted it- her black eyes were dead and uncaring. She was dressed in formal robes, though they were so old and worn and faded that they left no impression of regality. Snape swallowed and hauled his one, battered suitcase over to her. "Hello, Mum," he said.

"Hello, Severus," she replied, her voice tired and spent. "Did you have a nice time at school?"

He opened his mouth to reply, but she didn't seem to be listening. She was already turning to walk out of the station.

"Wait!" he said, holding out his hand.

"What is it? I want to leave."

"Just... hold on a moment, please."

Snape looked around him once more- Lily was still talking excitedly to her parents, Petunia doing her best to pretend she wasn't there. There was no point in saying anything to Lily, he would see her soon back at Spinner's End. But his gaze fell on someone else who was staring intently back at him. James Potter was alone, scrutinizing him from a barrier away from everyone else.

"I'll be right back," Snape mumbled, not taking his eyes off his foe. He strode over to him, careful not to reach for his wand.

"Is that your mother, Snivellus?" James smirked. "She looks a bit disappointed. Wonder why..."

Snape didn't reply, he just glared at the boy before him. James looked away haughtily. "Is there something you want, Snape, or can I go back to my parents? They're actually pleased to have me home, you know."

Suddenly, Snape seized James by the front of his shirt and hauled him behind a pillar, out of sight to the rest of the students.

"Why?" Snape growled, his face inches away. "Why do you hate me? What have I _ever_ done to you?"

James seemed startled by this outburst, then his face fell into a grimace.

"Answer me!" Snape snarled.

After a moment of silence, where the enmity between them was so strong it was almost visible, James answered him. "My grandfather was an Auror," he said in a low voice. "A very long time ago."

Snape stared. "What?"

"He was killed by Dark wizards... Never hurt anyone in his life. He was a brave man, and he was killed before his son- _my fa__ther-_" James grabbed Snape roughly and flipped them around, so that it was Snape being forced against the pillar. "-was barely ten years old!"

James's face was lived, and Snape saw a glint in his eyes behind the lopsided glasses. "And what does that have to do with me?"

"I saw you," he whispered. "In the beginning of the year... I saw you with those Slytherins. I heard you talking about Dark Magic in that classroom."

"What-"

"You think you're better than the rest of us?" said James. "You lot make me sick. Fooling around with terrible magic only to hurt and torture other people. That's what the Dark Arts are... magic for _cowards._"

Snape kncoked James's hands away. "How naive are you?" he hissed. "There's no such thing as a completely good or evil wizard. Nothing is so black-and-white! There's evil inside everyone, just as there is good! How dare you judge me? You don't even know me!"

Snape shoved his way past, bumping James's shoulder as he went. He joined his mother and grabbed his suitcase, and the two Snapes stalked out of King's Cross with equal looks of bitterness in their sallow faces.

* * *

.

I'm just going to take a moment to brandish my creative license. J.K. Rowling doesn't say much of anything about Harry's great-grandparents, so I made up something like James's father's father being killed by Dark wizards. (I think that's a good enough reason for James to detest the Dark Arts and the people who use them).

It's called FanFICTION for a reason!


	10. Chapter 10: Ice Cream

Can I just say that I am _extremely_ flattered to have gotten so many reviews from you readers! I am having so much fun writing this story and knowing people are reading it and enjoying it makes me feel so happy words cannot describe!

*cyber hugs*

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**Chapter 10:**

**Ice Cream**

Compared to the unpredictable excitement of Hogwarts, the Muggle village where Snape and Lily lived was a little less than painstakingly dull. They were underage and could not use magic over the summer holidays, so with a heavy heart they locked their schoolbooks, cauldrons, parchment and quills away. Though neither Snape's mother nor Lily's parents minded the schoolbooks, cauldrons, parchment and quills, having them sitting out where Snape and Lily could see them made them both depressed.

Of course, this didn't stop them from talking about Hogwarts every second they were together. Snape often spent time at the Evans house where they would discuss everything from the teachers they had, the interesting spells they had learned, and the upcoming year ahead of them. Petunia got so fed up with hearing all of it that she left the room whenever she overheard words like 'Muggle' and 'broomstick.'

Alone, Snape spent a great deal of his summer outside, as far away from his house on Spinner's End as possible. During the days he would spend the long, hot hours under the shade of the park trees, scribbling on a piece of paper or fingering the wand he could not use. During the nights to escape his family, he would travel the darkened streets, prowling among the grid of houses in his neighborhood until it was well past time for bed. But the days he would most look forward to were the ones he spent with Lily, walking long distances to the outskirts of town, stopping every now and then to purchase a coke from a convenience store to quench their thirst.

One blazing afternoon, two weeks before the Hogwarts Express would be carting them off to school, Snape and Lily were taking an alternate route to a bowling alley through a suburban street. They had decided to splurge that day and bought themselves ice cream cones, which dribbled over their hands as they melted in the sun. Lily was wearing a thin dress with printed sunflowers to battle the heat; Snape was wearing an old soccer jersey he found in his attic with jeans that were much too small for him.

"Sev," said Lily, flipping her long ponytail over her shoulder. "Will our second year be any different from the first?"

"Not really," he said, licking his cone. "But we won't have to take boats to the castle this year. We'll be going in carriages."

"What about classes? Will they be difficult?"

"Not to_ us._"

"Ha ha!" She leapt lightly onto a low brick wall that surrounded the front yard of a house. "I wonder if my parents will let me get an owl this year. It would be nice to have one to send letters. I hate having to use the school's owls. They always peck at me."

"Speaking of owls," said Snape, squinting into the sun. Lily followed his gaze and saw what he was looking at: two tiny figures were coming towards them from the sky. They grew steadily until they could clearly define two large barn owls swooping overhead. The owls dropped two thick envelopes into their hands. Snape and Lily tossed their empty cones to the ground, the owls pecking at them hopefully, before tearing open the envelopes.

"It's our Hogwarts letters!" said Lily. "Wow, look at all our new books..."

The book list was slightly longer than it had been their first year. It included such staples as _The Standard Book of Spells, Grade 2_, and Snape knew he would be inheriting his mother's old copy. But there were newer editions of books that were required that he was sure his mother hadn't owned.

"Hey, what's this?" Lily asked, running her finger down the parchment. "'One set of dress robes.' What are dress robes?"

"Robes worn to parties and such. Look, there's something written at the bottom," said Snape, scrunching his eyes to read the small paragraph added in under the book list:

_Hogwarts is pleased to announce that there will be a formal ball this year sometime in the month of January. Those wishing to attend will need a set of dress robes for the occasion. _

"A formal ball?" said Lily. "Sounds fancy!"

"They expect this to excite us?" said Snape disdainfully. "Just an excuse for hormonal teenagers to snog in public. I wouldn't be caught dead there."

Lily bit back a smile, silently wondering what color dress she would be buying.

"School is in two weeks," she said, changing the subject. "Do you want to come to Diagon Alley with me in the last week of this month?"

Snape paused and stuffed his letter in his pocket, which was slightly difficult given that his pants were two sizes too small. "I'll... have to see if it's okay with my parents," he mumbled.

"Oh, right..."

They stopped talking and watched the two barn owls, now finished with the ice cream cones, take off into the sun once more. Lily peeked at Snape from the corner of her eye. "You know you always have a room at my house," she said. "If you ever need a place to stay..."

"I know," said Snape quietly.

-

The last two weeks of August seemed to pass considerably slower for Snape and Lily, as they grew more and more anxious at the thought of returning to Hogwarts. Lily informed Snape that she and her family would be shopping at Diagon Alley on the 27th, and that her parents would be delighted if he could join them (Petunia was mum on the subject). Unfortunately, he would have to let his father know when he came home from work, and he would need to ask him for money to buy his school things.

And so the night before the trip, Snape stepped carefully down the stairs to the bottom floor of his row house, where he could clearly hear the sound of a television from below. At the bottom of the stairs was a room to the right, which seemed to have the lights off and television turned on, bathing the room in a bluish glow. In the middle of the room was placed a single armchair, ugly and plaid and patched. From the light of the television, Snape could see the silhouette of a man sitting in the chair, his hooked nose protruding from a lined face; a beer bottle was clutched in his hand.

Tobias Snape had been a hard-working man for most of his life. Raised as only one of many boys, his father was a firm believer in discipline and little play, and taught his sons the life lessons that came with being a poor working man. Tobias had therefore grown to be an almost exact version of his father, though the modern world was becoming increasingly less accommodated to his proletarian type. Perhaps it was the fact that his hard labor had earned him very little in life, or maybe it was a deep-seeded resentment of being deprived of something that could have made his life vastly easier, that made Tobias Snape detest the magic of his wife and son. Snape as a child had hated his father's temper and close-mindedness. Now, as an adult in mind and memory alone, Snape couldn't help but hate him even more.

He cleared his throat and walked into the room.

"May I talk to you, Father?" he said, addressing the side of the armchair. Tobias did not acknowledge his son, but grimaced at the television screen and drank from his bottle. Snape rolled his eyes and continued. "Lily Evans invited me to Diagon Alley for school shopping tomorrow," he said curtly. Snape had already proven to be more of a man than his father could ever be, and this gave him a confidence he had never known as a child. It was only the fact that Snape was still only twelve and wandless that he bothered to show any respect for his father at all.

"S'pose you want money," his father said in an icy tone. "What am I going to have to pay for this time? Toad spit?"

"Just some books," said Snape. "I need them for school or else I can't attend."

Tobias seemed to weigh this in his mind. "Why don't you get a job then, eh? Earn your own damn money."

"There are no jobs for twelve-year-olds," said Snape.

Tobias turned his hard face to look at him, and the expression Snape could make out in the blue glow was similar to one a farmer would give the runt of the litter. "I had my first job when I was five," he growled. "Woke up at the lick of dawn and nearly broke my back every day to haul crates of King Prawn at the docks. And I could do it hunky-dory without waving a fucking piece of wood around. More 'n I can say for your lot."

Snape felt his face redden with anger, not that it was noticeable in the dim light, and had to dig his fingernails into his clenched fists to keep from saying anything he would later regret. "I'll get the money from Mum," he said. "May I go then?"

"You mean the money _I_ give her?" Tobias scrutinized his son for another moment before turning back to the television and taking a swig of drink. "If she wants to split her allowance with you then it's no skin off my nose."

Snape gave a quick nod before leaving the room and retreating back upstairs, confident that his mother would give him the money. She knew what it was like at Hogwarts, at least. But it would only be enough to buy secondhand books at best, Snape thought as he entered his bedroom, for Tobias did not give his wife much allowance to begin with.

-

"What do you think of this one?" Lily inquired, pointing to the inside of a metal cage.

"Looks a little big, don't you think?" said Snape. "Remember you have to lug the thing around when you get on the train."

Lily bit her lip. "Hmm... that's right..." They were standing in front of a wall of cages inside Eeylops Owl Emporium in Diagon Alley. The place was cramped, smelly, and filled with the sound of hooting owls in all types of cages. Lily's attention was strictly kept to the owls, which would be useful for letters, though her eyes occasionally wandered to the ceiling, where some songbirds chirped Mozart and Chopin.

They were alone in the noisy shop apart from an extremely old woman with enormous round spectacles, who kept the shopkeeper busy as she seemed to be part blind and needed help in choosing a bird.

"This skinny one, then," she croaked, and the shopkeeper looked to where she was pointing. "He looks perfect."

"Ma'am, that's a coat rack..."

It took them a quarter of an hour to finally get to the shopkeeper long enough to make their purchase, and Lily exited the shop with Snape, holding the cage of a severe-looking brown spotted Great Horned Owl. "What's next on the list?" asked Lily. "We've got our Potions ingredients refilled, parchment and quills-"

"We need our books next," said Snape. He sighed as he looked up the street. Lily would get her books at Flourish and Blotts, while Snape would have to journey farther down the street to the secondhand book shop. "There's less of a crowd where I'm going," he said, and indeed Flourish and Blotts looked as if it were jam-packed with people. "I'll carry your owl and meet you here when we're finished."

"Thanks, Sev. See you in a bit," she said as she handed him the bird cage and disappeared into the crowd. Snape lugged the owl up a block and entered a very shabby-looking building. It was dimly lit and very dusty with the distinct smell of cabbage coming from somewhere in the back. The shelves were filled with chipped wands and cauldrons with the remains of brewed potions crusted on the inside. There was even a half-painted portrait hanging in the corner of the shop; its inhabitant, half of a very dignified-looking witch, glared at Snape as he entered. He strode straight to very back where there were several bookcases containing used school books, which had been bought from previous Hogwarts students in need of money. He perused the sections, grabbing what he needed here and there, before going to the front desk and ringing the service bell.

"Coming!" said a voice. From around the corner came a middle-aged wizard in dark blue robes and a pointed silver hat. He must have been in his early forties, as indicated by his peppered brown hair, but his skin was unusually tan and he was tall and fit. "Will this be all for you, sir?"

"Yes," said Snape. "Um... didn't an older man used to run this shop?"

"That would be my father," said the wizard. "I'm back from traveling the Americas and I needed a place to stay for a short while. Are you a Hogwarts student?"

Snape nodded, handing him a handful of Sickles.

"My name is Arnold Hastings," said the man. "Went to Hogwarts years ago as a lad. Wonderful place... still miss it sometimes." His eyes filled with misty reflections. "And you are?"

"Severus Snape," said Snape. "Thanks," he added, as Hastings handed him his change. "What were you doing in the Americas, if you don't mind my asking?"

"Oh, traveling mostly. Was there on assignment to deal with some vampires up in Washington. You won't believe the vampire problem there." Hastings was putting Snape's books one by one in a shopping bag. "Second year, are you? That's a turning point, you know. Next year you'll get to choose your own classes. Tell me, Severus, what's your favorite subject?"

The man was talking quite a lot, but in a polite and friendly way. Snape thought for a moment. "Defense Against the Dark Arts," he said, though would have loved to drop the 'Defense Against' part.

Hastings paused and smiled at Snape fondly. "Me too," he said and suddenly disappeared behind the counter. He arose a moment later, holding a small black book. "Consider this a gift," he said, and popped it into the bag. Snape looked surprised by this sudden act of kindness.

"No, I couldn't-"

"Don't worry about it," said Hastings, motioning around the shop. "One man's trash is another man's treasure- this shop is proof of that. Think of it as a hand-me-down from a former Hogwarts student to a current one."

"Th-thank you," said Snape uncertainly. Was the fact that he was buying secondhand books from a junk shop a sign of his financial status? Was this man pitying him?

As if reading the look on Snape's face, Hastings quickly said, "I just thought you could use it, you know. I myself wasn't as- er- _well-off _as most people. A lot of the junk here is from my parent's house. I wasn't implying anything."

"Mm," said Snape, still wary. The Great Horned Owl hooted from inside the cage.

"That's a handsome owl you have there," said the man. "What's his name?"

"He doesn't have a name yet. But he isn't mine, he's a friend's."

"Tell your friend to give him a Greek name," said Hastings as he handed Snape the large bag containing his books. "It's lucky. Well, I'll see you soon, Severus. Got to get back to my cabbage." And before Snape could ask where he would be seeing him, the man had gone.

Snape had to wait a good ten minutes until Lily finally emerged from Flourish and Blotts, looking exhausted. "It's like a madhouse in there," she gasped. "We must have picked the day every student would be here to do their school shopping. Have you got all your books?"

"And more," said Snape, pulling from his bag the small black book. He read the cover: _From Transylvania to Timbuktu- The History of Sinister Arts Around the World._

"Oh no," said Lily, looking horrified at the book. "That wasn't on our list, was it?" She turned and cast a fearful glance back at Flourish and Blotts, apparently terrified at the thought of having to go back into the chaos.

"No, the shopkeeper just gave it to me," assured Snape, flipping through the pages before looking down at the bags Lily carried. "How many books did you buy, anyway? You look like you have two of everything."

"Oh, well, you know," she laughed nervously. "I picked up a few extra things myself." And she waited until Snape's back was turned to stuff a silken, emerald dress farther down into her shopping bag.

* * *

Sorry for the wait!


	11. Chapter 11: The New Teacher

Yeah this chap is short and nothing big happens... took me a while to make myself write it lol. Though I am a bit disappointed that no one got my Twilight reference in the last chapter. Or if they did they didn't comment on it (Harry Potter is tons better, IMO).

Excuse any small mistakes! Thanks for reading!

*edit* Fixed a mistake o_0

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**Chapter 11:**

**The New Teacher**

"I took your friend's advice," said Lily. She was sitting aboard the Hogwarts Express with Snape, Kendra, and Mary in a compartment to themselves. "I decided to name him 'Zeus.' I think it suits him."

"Have you tried to send any letters?" asked Snape.

Lily blushed. "Yeah, I tried. I don't think he trusts me yet."

Zeus swiveled his head around and hooted loudly at her.

"Same to you," she said, frowning.

Just then their compartment door slid open and Remus popped his head in. "Oh, hello," he said in embarrassment. "I was looking for the others..."

"You can sit with us, Remus," said Mary. "We won't bite."

"Well, Zeus might," Lily mumbled.

Remus smiled and closed the door behind him, sitting hesitantly next to Snape. "How are you, Severus?"

"Fine, thank you," said Snape. Remus was the only other Gryffindor boy who showed any respect for Snape, though Snape wondered if it was only for the fact that he was keeping Remus's secret.

"Did you have a good summer, Remus?" asked Lily politely.

"Oh, it was fine. Good to be back, though," he replied.

"I feel sorry for Muggles," said Mary. "We get all excited about going back to school. They hate it."

"What do they teach in Muggle schools?" Kendra asked, taking out her wand and twirling it in her fingers.

"Well, science, mathematics, literature, physical education..."

Kendra snorted. "I didn't understand a word of that."

The food trolley appeared at the compartment door at that moment, and the five of them bought Cauldron Cakes to snack on. Lily tried feeding some to her owl, who just glared at her with his large, amber eyes.

"I should have gotten a cat," said Lily.

By the time they arrived at Hogsmeade the weather had completely changed. Rain drizzled in the darkness of the train station, and the students had to draw their cloaks up over their heads in order to keep from getting wet. Lily was forced to take a blanket from her trunk and throw it over Zeus's cage to keep him dry, which made the owl flustered and panicky.

"Shut _up_," Lily spat at him under her breath, for he had started to hoot incessantly. Snape, holding his cloak above his head with one hand and juggling his battered suitcase with the other, pointed his wand at the cage and muttered, "_Silencio!_" and the noise from the cage ceased at once.

"Firs' years!" came a booming voice from the darkness. "This way, Firs' years!" An enormous hairy man with a soaking beard and mane was calling over the heads of the students.

"Hey, Hagrid!" said James, suddenly appearing next to Remus, who was wiping raindrops from his eyes. Sirius and Peter appeared a moment later and greeted the other Gryffindors.

Hagrid spotted James among the wet, black mass and waved congenially before turning and bellowing orders for the first years to follow him once more. "I like him," said Sirius loudly over the rain. "Like a big, furry teddy bear, he is."

The Great Hall was just as magnificent as always: the floating candles created a warm, welcoming glow as they entered the doors, which contrasted with the rainy cold they had just left. The teachers were sitting as they always did at the High Table, smiling as the students scrambled into their seats at the four long house tables. Snape didn't pay much attention to much of it; he was very hungry and thought nothing but the food that awaited him as Dumbledore stood and greeted them and McGonagall entered the hall with the Sorting Hat. He only looked up when the first name to be Sorted was called.

"Black, Regulus!" said McGonagall. A skinny boy with black haired stepped forward.

"Oy... that's my brother," said Sirius wearily. "Bet you anything he gets into-"

"Slytherin!" the Sorting Hat cried.

The Slytherin table erupted in applause, and Regulus Black joined the table looking very pleased with himself. "Stupid git," mumbled Sirius.

Snape saw Regulus sit next to Lucius, who shook the young boy's hand, and knew their little club of future Death Eaters would be growing this year.

"Looks like they replaced Billingsley," said James. He was eyeing the staff table. "Figures. I hear there hasn't been a Dark Arts teacher that lasts more than a year for some time now."

Snape swiveled his head to look at the staff table with the others. When he spotted the new face, his mouth opened slightly. It was Arnold Hastings, wearing the same dark blue robes and pointed silver hat that he had worn in the junk shop.

"Who is he?" Peter asked.

"Dunno. Real looker, though," replied James.

Kendra giggled and whispered something in Lily's ear, who said, "Ugh, Kendra! He's like, _fort__y!_"

"Gable, Wilson!" called McGonagall. A short, chubby boy waddled forward and placed the Sorting Hat on his head.

"Ravenclaw!" screamed the hat.

No longer paying any mind to the Sorting, Snape was racking his brain, but could not for the life of him remember who the DADA teacher was in his second year, but he was sure it wasn't Hastings. Was this another consequence of his new life? Dumbledore had said that events would play out differently, but how drastic could such changes be?

"Harper, Jessica!"

The Sorting Hat took a long time on Jessica, who was a skinny girl with long, dirty blonde hair. In the end she was placed in Gryffindor, and stumbled to sit next to Peter, her face flushed.

By the end of the ceremony, many more first years had joined the Gryffindor table, including Sylvester Marlow, Sabina Shirazi, and Daniel Walters, all looking very embarrassed and still soaking wet from the rain.

Then Dumbledore stood from his chair and the hall fell silent. "Welcome, students, to another year at Hogwarts! If you could all be so kind as to wait for dinner a little longer, I'd like to make a few announcements before the feast begins.

"This is Professor Hastings, our new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher," he said, waving towards the man in the dark blue robes, who smiled at the crowd. "It will be a real treat to have him here, though I know we will all miss Professor Billingsley now that she's gone."

"Good riddance," whispered James. "I'm still not finished with all those essays she assigned."

Dumbledore continued with the evening's announcements, which were the usual: the Forbidden Forest was still forbidden, no students were to be out after hours, and Quidditch tryouts would take place the following week. The only additional bit of news was left until the end of the speech.

"Finally," said Dumbledore with a twinkle in his eye. "I am very excited to announce that Hogwarts will be having its very own Winter Ball this year in January! If any of you are as thrilled about this as I am, let us give a nice round of applause to Miss Dergen and Miss Miller, whose tireless efforts and innumerable letters over the summer finally convinced the Board of Governors to allow us to hold one." He clapped his thin hands together and looked happily at a couple of Hufflepuff girls, who exchanged smiles. A lot of students clapped; apparently the event was more exciting to them than it had been to Snape. Kendra and Mary were putting their heads together and whispering excitedly.

When Dumbledore sat in his chair, the food appeared on the tables, and a lot of the first years gasped in amazement. "You'll get used to it," said Peter to Jessica Harper.

Lily dug her fork into a stuffed potato. "Hey," she said to Snape. "Wasn't that guy from the junk shop named Hastings, too?"

"Yes, it's the same man," said Snape, looking once more at the staff table. "He told me he'd see me again, but it didn't occur to me that he would be the new teacher..."

"He's handsome," said Kendra, her eyes locked on the staff table. "And fit. Wonder what he did before this?"

"Apparently de-vampiring America," said Lily. "That's what Sev says."

Sirius, who had been eavesdropping, leaned over. "You know him?" he said, eyeing Snape curiously. "What's his first name?"

Snape gave Sirius a contemptuous look. "Arnold."

Sirius leaned back and tapped his forehead with his knuckle. "Ah, I knew I've heard that name before! Arnold Hastings won a Special Service Award for the school ages ago."

"How do you know that?" Peter said through a mouthful of meat pie.

"I polished his shield in the trophy room for detention, once," said Sirius. "It didn't say what he did, though."

"I bet his class will be excellent," said James. "He's got to be better than Billingsley."

Snape didn't think about Hastings again until he entered his dormitory that night. James and Remus were playing a game of Exploding Snap on Sirius's four-poster, whose usual occupant was busy digging for something in his trunk. They didn't pay him any attention as Snape walked to his own trunk and extracted his pajamas. In fact, James had completely avoided eye contact with Snape since they arrived at Hogwarts, nor had James made any attempt to insult him. But Snape was not in the least bit concerned for this behavior.

With a sudden thought, Snape reached back into his suitcase and pulled out the book Hastings had given him. He closed the curtains of his four-poster, sat up on his pillows, lit his wand for light and began to read it intently. It was all about the history and use of Dark magic from across the world, dating back all the way to the BC period. It was a very interesting read, and Snape finished it long after the other four boys had fallen asleep. He finished the last chapter, which focused on the shaman of South America, sometime past midnight, and settled down to sleep. He half-hoped that he would have Defense Against the Dark Arts tomorrow, though he wondered if Hastings would show the same amiability towards Snape as he had expressed at their first meeting in Diagon Alley. He seemed more like the type who would have James or Sirius as favorite students. _Not that it would matter,_ thought Snape. _He'll only last a year anyway._


	12. Chapter 12: Three to a Cauldron

Thanks for reading!

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**Chapter 12:**

**Three to a Cauldron**

Their very first lesson of the year was Double Potions with the Slytherins every Monday, which meant Snape would be in close proximity to Mulciber, who, in his past life, had been a classmate and friend. As he stared at his schedule, Snape wondered what Lily would think of Mulciber. He wasn't exactly a friendly personality. In fact, he was a terror of a boy, with a protruding brow and small, glinting eyes. He slouched constantly, but retained an air of importance that showed itself best when in the presence of those he considered Mudbloods and blood traitors. Like Snape, Mulciber was fond of the Dark Arts, but there was a cruelty to Mulciber that Snape had never quite related to. Often, when he had been insulted by a classmate, Mulciber would be quick and forceful with his revenge, gaining for himself a terrible and feared reputation.

As Snape and Lily walked into Potions, Professor Slughorn was busy writing the ingredients for the day's lesson on the blackboard. They chose a table in the middle of the classroom, which already had one large cauldron sitting on it. The concoction inside it greeted them with a scent of honey and flowers.

Kendra and Mary chose the table behind them while James, Sirius and Peter followed them inside, slumping onto the table across the aisle. The rest of the class, Slytherins and Gryffindors alike, filed into the room as Slughorn turned from the blackboard. "Everyone, take a seat!" he said excitedly. "Three to a cauldron, please!"

Snape saw Mulciber from the back of the room and prayed he wouldn't sit in the extra seat next to Lily. To Snape's immense relief, Remus plopped down beside her at once, and Mulciber hesitated for a moment before sitting behind them next to Mary. When everyone had chosen a seat, Slughorn whipped out a long piece of parchment to call roll. When he had finished, he clapped his meaty hands together, his enormous mustache stretching as he smiled. "Today is the first day of your second year, so we will begin immediately with a somewhat _advanced_ potion," he said.

He waved his wand and the cauldrons on the tables began to bubble. "On your tables you'll find the beginning of one of the more complex potions we will be studying. It will take several weeks to complete and we'll be keeping them in the back room between class times. I won't tell you what it is just yet- I thought it would be a fun surprise when we're done. I've already started them for you (They need to sit with the beginning ingredients for a few days). And I hope you all are pleased with your seating arrangements, as you will be working on the same cauldron for the rest of term."

Mary and Kendra cast sideway glances of disapproval at Mulciber. James, Sirius and Peter high-fived under the table.

"If there are no questions," continued Slughorn. "The instructions are on the board. Wherever you stop at the end of class you'll pick up in the next lesson. Begin!"

There was shuffle as everyone extracted their scales and phials from their bags and stood to peek into the steaming cauldrons. Remus read out the instructions on the blackboard as Lily and Snape added three teaspoons of bat guano. "We have to stir it clockwise fourteen times," said Remus. "And then sprinkle some scarab beetle legs in the center-"

"Sev is good with stirring," said Lily, smiling. "There's an art to it."

"No there isn't," said Snape with a humble air. "Adding an alternate stir mixes the contents better-"

"Ah, my two favorite students!" called Slughorn as he swept over to their table. "I expect top marks from you, Miss Evans and Mr. Snape." He looked to Remus. "You could learn a thing or two from them, Mr. Lefew." He continued down the aisle to inspect the other students' work, Remus's face reddening as Lily giggled.

"Hey, _Lefew_," called James from across the room. "Do you have any extra scarab legs? We're out over here."

"I'll be back," mumbled Remus, taking a handful of tiny, black limbs and walking to the other table. Lily and Snape watched him go before turning to each other.

"Poor Remus," Lily said. "He's looking really pale. Well, paler than usual. Is he sick again?"

"I'm no sure," said Snape, then added in an undertone, "Better check the lunar calendar."

"What?"

"Could you pass me some scarab legs, please?"

"Oh, sure," Lily said and passed a handful to him. She glanced behind her and saw Kendra and Mary edged as far away from Mulciber as the length of the table would allow. "Sev," she whispered. "Who's that guy behind us?"

"His name's Mulciber," said Snape, not turning around. "Not too bright. I wouldn't talk to him if I were you."

"Why not?" Lily asked.

"He... he doesn't like Muggle-borns," said Snape, a lump in his throat.

"Oh..." said Lily, and she watched Snape stir the cauldron in silence. Remus reappeared a moment later, smiling to himself.

"Peter added too many legs," he said. "Slughorn has to start them all over... I picked a good seat today."

-

After Potions there was a small break before lunch, and after lunch was what they had all been waiting for: Defense Against the Dark Arts with Professor Hastings. They ate lunch quickly and lined up outside his classroom, eagerly waiting for him to arrive. Many of Snape's peers had heard of Hastings and his travels abroad. He wondered if the tales were just rumors made by adolescent minds or if there was any truth in them at all. For all Snape knew, Arnold Hastings could be just another Gilderoy Lockhart.

When Hastings finally arrived wearing robes of forest green and carrying a stack of parchments, he started at the queue of students that had formed outside his door. "Oh..." he said, smiling nervously. "There wasn't this much enthusiasm when I was in school... All right, everybody in."

They filed into the classroom, and saw immediately that Hastings had changed the interior almost completely. When she was here, Professor Billingsley had kept the room relatively clean, the only decor being pictures of Dark wizards and creatures, and the famous warlocks known to have conquered them. But Hastings had taken the liberty of adding wooden shelves along the walls that held many books and trinkets. Snape could point out a number of Sneakoscopes of different sizes, a world globe that slowly revolved on its own, and shrunken heads that stared at them with blank, dead eyes. Above the shelves hung moving pictures- everything from newspaper clippings to portraits of old witches and wizards. There was even a Chudley Cannons poster near the front of the classroom, and from the ceiling hung what looked like a very large and very dusty basilisk skin. It was almost as if they were walking into the junk shop in Diagon Alley.

They filled the tables with whispers of excitement, craning their heads to see every new object in the room. Hastings strode to the front of the classroom and dumped the stack of parchments unceremoniously on his desk. With a wave of his wand, a piece of chalk shot up and began writing on the blackboard.

"My name is Professor Hastings," he said as the chalk wrote the name with a flourish on the board. "Your new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. And- erm-" He turned and scrambled for a parchment on his desk. "Your old professor didn't leave much of a syllabus, so we'll be playing it by ear for now. Let me call roll."

One by one he called their names, and the students answered with "present." When he arrived at Snape's name, the very last on the list, Hastings gave a small smile and placed the paper behind him. "Now, I'd like to start off our first class with a question to see how far you've come in your last year. Who can tell me the first printed book ever to mention the Darks Arts?"

No one in the class knew the answer, though they knew Hastings really hadn't expected them to. Snape, however, remembered that he read the answer in _From Transylvania to Timbuktu- The History of Sinister Arts Around the World. _Hastings stared at them; after a moment of silence, his eyes flitted to Snape expectantly. Taking the hint, Snape slowly raised his hand.

"Ah, yes," said Hastings, pretending to spot him. "Mr. Snape?"

"_Fortalicium Fidei_," said Snape.

"Excellent! Twenty points to Gryffindor! Yes, the Dark Arts have a long history, longer than most people choose to believe. The first Dark Wizard ever was a man named Beh Sarajia who- er... Yes, Mr. Potter?"

James had raised his hand while Hastings had been talking. "Is it true, Professor," he said. "That you attended the Dragon Control Council in Romania last year?"

"Ah," Hastings said, smiling. "So you've heard of me, have you? Yes, that is true, as well as the one three years previously. Now as I was saying-"

He stopped abruptly, for Peter's hand had shot up in the air as well. "Mr. Pettigrew?"

"I heard... that... uh..." he stuttered. "That you've been in America stopping vampires. Is that true, too?"

"Yes. There have been an abnormally large population developing there for the past several years and- Oh, for goodness' sake," he said, as everyone's hand was now raised. "Yes?"

Suddenly voices rang out in the classroom as every student shot questions at the professor. It was such an outburst that the Chaser in the Chudley Cannons poster fell off his broom.

"What did you do after you graduated Hogwarts?"

"How do you defeat a vampire, anyway?"

"What House were you in when you went to school?"

"Are you married?"

Professor Hastings laughed and answered quickly, failing to miss a beat:

"I had a job in my father's shop in Diagon Alley, vampires can be subdued with a simple cross and garlic, Hufflepuff, and no, Miss Farlane, I have never married."

"What did you receive your Special Service Award for?" asked Sirius, not even bothering to raise his hand. Hastings cleared his throat and looked to the chalkboard.

"I really do think we should begin the lesson," he said. "I had it all planned out-"

"Why did you take the Dark Arts job?" asked Mary.

"Okay, okay- I'm sure we will have plenty of time to get to know each other as the year progresses," said Hastings. "I promise you all of your questions will be answered, but for now let's talk _Beh Sarajia..._"

The students, now more subdued once they realized they weren't going to hear any exciting stories, sat back in their chairs with looks of disappointment. Hastings lectured them for the rest of class, but it was a very interesting lesson all the same, and everyone paid rapt attention. When the bell rang to signal the end of class, Hastings said, "For homework I thought we'd start off a bit easy. I want you all to draw your own interpretation of Beh Sarajia, as all of our historical documents and accounts have yet to provide us with an accurate description of him."

The class, which had been busy stuffing their books into their bags, fell silent and stared at him. "You... you want us to draw a picture?" said Sirius uncertainly.

"Yes, to be handed in at the start of our next class. Extra points if you color it," said Hastings cheerfully. As the class continued to stare at him, his smile faded. "Oh," he said, a bit sadly. "Would you... rather I assign an essay?"

"No, no, picture's great!" said James happily. Hastings smiled and dismissed them. Snape, Lily, Mary and Kendra exited the room and walked together to the next class.

"Huh," Mary said after they had left. "He's a bit off, isn't he? I like him, though."

"Yeah, I just wish we could have asked him more questions," Lily mused as they made their way up a staircase concealed behind a tapestry. "I want to know what dragons are like."

The three girls had crossed the tapestry, and Snape was about to follow them when he heard a voice call his name from behind. Turning around, he saw Lucius Malfoy beckoning him from the other side of the hallway. "I'll catch up to you," he called and hurried towards the Slytherin.

"Good evening, Severus," Lucius said pleasantly. "Welcome back."

"Same to you," said Snape. He noticed that Lucius had grown a few inches since he had last seen him. He was still a prefect, and his badge shone on his chest almost as brightly as his platinum blonde hair. "Is there something you need? I have a class..."

Lucius leaned in, glancing around to make certain no one could hear. "I just wanted to let you know that we'll be having another- er... _meeting_ Friday night," he said. "I have a few first years that I think are interested in attending. I hope to see you there?"

"Yeah, sure," said Snape without really paying attention, for as Lucius's back was turned someone else passed behind them and eyed Snape with a piercing, cat-like gaze. Esther Keefe appeared farther down the corridor for only a moment before she disappeared, a small smile playing on her lips. When she was out of sight, Lucius clapped Snape on the shoulder.

"Excellent! I'll see you Friday night in the same classroom we always use," he said. He turned to leave, but Snape stopped him, and the words slipped out of his mouth before he could stop them.

"Lucius, will Esther Keefe be at the meeting?"

He hadn't meant anything by it, so when a knowing grin spread across the prefect's face, Snape felt a pang of annoyance. "Well well," sang Lucius. "Eager to see Esther, are you?"

"No, it's not like that-"

"It's perfectly fine, Severus," Lucius said, chuckling. "I _am_ a man after all. I know the feeling. Don't worry, I'm sure Esther will be there. I'll get Narcissa to confirm it."

Lucius turned to go, and again Snape stopped him. "It isn't like that," he said firmly. "I dont... I don't like Esther..."

But Lucius merely laughed and headed down the stairs towards the dungeons, leaving Snape annoyed and slightly red-faced in the empty corridor.

-

The last class of the day was Astronomy, and when the sun was beginning to set on the horizon Snape found himself sitting beside Lily, Kendra, and Mary at another table in a classroom on the sixth floor. Astronomy had not been one of Snape's favorite subjects in school; it was mostly memorizing star charts and predicting the locations of constellations at various times of the year. This contrasted highly with Sirius, who was quite good at the subject ("Runs in the family," he said with a shrug). Every Monday they would have lectures in a classroom, and every Wednesday at midnight they would meet at the top of the Astronomy tower for the practical portion of the class, mostly using their brass telescopes to identify stars and planets. The lecture class was very dull, and Snape always found his mind wandering; this time, he thought of the conversation he had just had.

He didn't really care what Lucius Malfoy thought, but despite himself, Snape felt a little upset over his words. His feelings toward Esther were, if anything, of complete apprehension. She would be a fourth year now, but despite her young age there was something very mature about her. In looks, she could have passed for someone much older: very curvy, heavy make-up, dark, curly hair... but he didn't feel much attraction to her. At least...

He looked to the girls sitting on his right. Mary Macdonald was a plain girl with no distinguishing features. She had medium brown hair, pale skin, and shy but welcoming blue eyes. Kendra Farlane was a bit more assertive and pretty, usually turning the heads of boys as she passed them in the halls. They were both very nice to him, probably for the sake of Lily, but he didn't care. It was Lily herself that held his heart, not Esther, not anyone else.

And it was for Lily alone that he would continue to attend Lucius Malfoy's meetings with Mulciber and Avery and the other students destined to be Voldemort's loyal followers. He would get closer and closer to Lucius, thereby getting closer and closer to the Dark Lord, just as he had done before. Then, when he had risen through the ranks to become the Dark Lord's right-hand man, he would corrupt the system from the inside. He knew what was to happen. Only he could prevent so many of the tragedies left in the wake of the Dark Lord's destruction. The only problem with this plan was keeping his Death Eater activities secret from the other Gryffindors. James was already suspicious of him, and having Mulciber in the same Potions class was going to be a challenge...

Snape faced the front of the room where the professor was pointing out the moon's path in the sky, and he thought of everything that had the potential to change. So many families had been torn apart in the First Wizarding War, so much sorrow and pain, and he could prevent it all. Lily would not have to die this time. If he could help it, Lily would never have to suffer again.

With these extraordinary thoughts in mind, Snape picked up his quill and began absentmindedly taking notes.


	13. Chapter 13: Hastings's Homework

Just so you guys know, I'm back at uni and won't have as much time to write as I did. But I don't plan on putting this story on hiatus or anything. Thanks for being patient~

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**Chapter 13:**

**Hastings's Homework**

Though Hastings's homework had seemed very strange at the time it was assigned, the second years had a great deal of fun with their drawings of Beh Sarajia. They all had similar beginnings: a man, usually with a goatee and an evil look in his eyes wearing old-fashioned robes and a pointed hat. Then the students added imaginative flair, and soon Sarajia grew horns, emitted fire from his nostrils, or led a nest of serpents at his feet. They had a good laugh in comparing their own interpretations to the others as they waited outside the classroom on Wednesday. James had made his Sarajia look very much like a heavyweight champion with thick, muscular arms and tattoos covering most of his body. Peter had given his an eyepatch and various scars, and Lily had colored hers green.

"Why green?" Snape asked, eyeing her drawing as they entered the classroom.

"That's just what I pictured in my head," she said simply.

Hastings was nothing less than delighted at the pictures.

"Ah, these are fantastic!" he exclaimed as he shuffled through them. "Yes, I like the pegleg you added to yours, Miss Macdonald. Oh, and the fangs, Mr. Black, very creative indeed. I'll have to hang these on the wall when I get a chance."

He set the papers on his desk. "Now, you may have thought this assignment a bit silly," he said, "but there _was_ a point to it." He extracted a rolled up parchment from the inside of his cloak. "If you remember correctly, the assignment was to draw your interpretation of Beh Sarajia, the first wizard ever known to use Dark Magic, as history has never given us one. I lied, however. Several years ago I was in Salamanca doing a bit of artifact work and came across a copy of an actual drawing of the man. This, according to an artist who has yet to be identified, is what the first Dark wizard really looked like."

He unrolled the parchment and held it up for the class to see. It was a very detailed sketch on yellowed parchment of a young man whom the artist had drawn extremely handsome, with a wide, congenial grin and wavy dark hair. "As you can see," said Hastings. "Your drawings are way off-base. Beh was actually a very popular and attractive wizard in his time. He was known to have many lovers and cured many of his village's illnesses. He was not, as you undoubtedly imagined, some ugly, hateful old warlock that stole away young maidens and murdered children on a regular Tuesday."

He stood and walked to the blackboard. "The lesson I wanted you all to gain from this is crucial." He flattened the paper against the board and tapped it with his wand, and it stuck there as if it had been glued. "The lesson is this: one should not judge solely based off appearances. Dark Magic itself wasn't considered very 'dark' until the fifteenth century. In learning to defend yourself against curses, creatures, and crazy peglegged madmen you must always be vigilant and aware that nothing is at first what it seems. Especially when dealing with the most foul beasts in the world."

"I guess they don't all have to look like Snivellus then," James murmured to Sirius, who sniggered. Hastings looked at them mildly.

"I don't know who 'Snivellus' is, Mr. Potter, but please take this lesson seriously, as you will be tested on it later in the year. Dark Magic is magic all the same, and it must be understood and respected, not brushed aside and ignored as it usually is these days." He addressed the class now. "With me you will be learning its history and its many forms. We might even be practicing a bit of it ourselves, though nothing too dangerous of course."

Hearing this, Snape couldn't help but take a sideways glance at James, and found that he was staring at Hastings with dawning apprehension. These feelings of suspicion were confirmed as they left the class half an hour later.

"I can't believe that man," said James. "He was talking about the Dark Arts like they were harmless. It's almost as if he were _fond_ of them."

"Don't think too much on it, Jim," said Sirius, flinging an arm around his friend's shoulders. "The bloke's great but he is a bit off his rocker, seems like."

"Don't be daft," said Lily as she passed them. "I thought what Professor Hastings said was very interesting and true."

"Yeah right," said James defensively. "He's charmed you, Lily, that's all. The guy's messed up. Just like _Snivellus._"

"Don't call him that," Lily said. "You're just jealous that Severus is better at every subject than you."

Snape, who had lagged behind in the classroom to gather his things, paused at the door. Neither James, Lily nor Sirius had noticed him, and he backed away into the shadows.

"Jealous?" scoffed James. "Jealous? Of _him? _Don't make me laugh! I could never be jealous of some slimeball like him. He's a freak who likes the Dark Arts and you know it, Lily."

Snape tensed at the words. Would Lily believe what James said? What would she say if she knew he liked the Dark Arts? For a brief second, though it seemed to last full minutes to Snape, he was utterly terrified of what Lily was going say. His heart was beating so loud he was convinced they would be able to hear him from where he stood.

"I don't care about that," Lily said; her voice was firm as her brilliant green eyes glared at James. "He's still ten times the wizard you are."

It happened in a second: Snape suddenly felt as if something very warm and wonderful was pouring down his throat and filling his entire body; his heart flew to his throat, and he almost let out a cry of triumph.

James did not speak. He was looking at Lily with more disappointment than he had at Hastings. His mouth opened and closed soundlessly before he turned on his heel and stalked away. Sirius took another inquisitive look at Lily before following him. Snape waited a beat then casually walked into the corridor.

"Sorry... I had to get some things," he said uneasily. Lily jumped when she heard him coming, then softened when she saw him.

"Oh, yeah..." she said. He joined her side, still feeling as if he were full of helium, about to float away to the high ceiling at any moment. Lily glanced at her watch and looked around the hall. "Before dinner I'd like to send a letter to my parents," she said. "Want to come to the Owlery with me?"

"Sure," he said, trying with great difficulty not to smile. They headed up the first staircase they came to and followed the many winding passages and steps to the North Tower, where they arrived at a large, circular room with glassless windows. From the rafters above perched hundreds of owls, and their feet loudly crunched the straw and animal bone that covered floor.

"Oh, where is he?" Lily said, pulling from her pocket a rolled up parchment and craning her neck to try and spot her own owl among the many, many others. Finally she spotted him atop the highest rafter and called his name, to which he ignored.

"Sev, do that spell you do," she said.

"Which spell?"

"That a-see-o spell that makes things come to you. Can you show me how to do it?"

Snape looked to Lily, then to Zeus, who was lazily preening his feathers and pretending they weren't there. "Okay," he said, extracting his wand. "All you have to do is point in the general direction of your object, think of it, concentrate on it, _want_ it, and-"

He pointed his wand to the parchment in Lily's hands and said, "_Accio parchment!"_ It flew out of her grasp and he caught it gently.

She nodded and extended her arm to the ceiling. _"Accio Zeus!"_

But the owl merely looked down at her with a pitying gaze and fluttered to another rafter. Lily huffed and dropped her arm.

"It's an advanced spell," said Snape sympathetically. "You'll have to practice." He carried the parchment over to a school owl that was sitting near the wall and tied the letter to its leg. Lily followed him to the window and they watched as it took off into the sky. It was dinnertime, and the sun was already brushing the top of the Forbidden Forest, casting a splash of orange light on the castle walls. After the owl had vanished from sight, Snape said quietly, "Lily?"

"Yeah?"

He bit his tongue, wondering what exactly to say. Then, after a moment's deliberation, he decided that honesty was best. "I like the Dark Arts."

She tore her eyes away from the window to consider him. "I know."

"And... and how did you-?"

"I'm not _blind_, Severus," she said. "I know you read Dark books. I see you in the library." She shrugged. "It's okay if you like them, I suppose... I agree with Professor Hastings. Dark Magic is still magic, right? As long as you're not hurting anybody..."

"Of course I'm not," he said indignantly.

They stood in silence by the window and watched as the sky turned from a brilliant orange to a dark red, and then the sun dipped below the trees of the Forbidden Forest and the night greeted them with the appearance of twinkling stars. That night the moon was split in half and after several minutes the two were bathed in the white light that shone down onto the castle. Standing by the window, lost in thought and looking out into the setting sun, Lily appeared very calm and serene, and Snape thought at that moment she was the most beautiful he had ever seen her. He suddenly had the wild urge to kiss her. He resisted the temptation, however, and merely prodded a rat's skull laying by his feet with the tip of his shoe.

Lily turned from the window and headed to the door. "Besides," she said in a lighter tone. "It's not as if you hang around jerks like Lucius Malfoy or Mulciber."

-

"Hello, Lucius. Hello, Mulciber," said Snape at the door of the unused classroom on the fourth floor.

"Evening, Severus," said Lucius, gesturing him inside. "Don't be afraid to circulate the crowds a bit, I want these first years eager to come back for the next meeting."

Snape entered the classroom and the first thing he noticed was that it had been furnished: there were now several armchairs and couches arranged in groups for conversation and the lanterns stationed around the walls were lit with an eery yellow-green light. It reminded Snape very much of the Slytherin common room, and wondered if that had been the intent behind the decor.

Mulciber, who had been at the door with Lucius, jerked his head over to a couch in the corner where three Hufflepuff first years sat, each looking absolutely terrified. To the left were the Hogan twins, still with their shaggy hair that grew over their eyes. By the windows stood Esther Keefe with a small group of Ravenclaws; it looked as if she had brought guests. Snape had prepared himself; he knew that there would likely be a larger group of people, but the fact that a lot of them weren't from Slytherin still made him highly uneasy. As he made his way to where Narcissa Black stood with Evan Rosier, he caught snippets of conversation from the small Hufflepuffs:

"What is this club about anyway? Do any of the professors know-"

"No, Johnny, and don't tell anyone! John said this was an _elite _meeting!"

Snape straightened his red and gold tie (he was still the only Gryffindor in the room) and greeted Narcissa and Evan politely. "Oh, _Severus_," Narcissa drawled. "You've gotten taller, haven't you? For a second year, at least."

"Thank you," said Snape, not entirely sure if it was a compliment or not. Evan flashed a toothy grin.

"I'm still surprised with you," he said. "Never thought Lucius would take a liking to someone from Gryffindor. But what would I know?"

The meeting was almost as dull as the ones before it; mostly Snape stood quietly and listened to the others talk about their summers and their plans for the coming year. Evan Rosier and Narcissa were in their fifth year and were discussing their O.W.L.s when a group of the younger students began to leave and the crowd in the room began to thin. It wasn't until only the original group, Lucius, Narcissa, Avery, Evan, Wilkes, Mulciber, John and Nathan Hogan, Esther, and Snape, remained in the deserted classroom that they formed one large group, and Lucius peered out into the hallway to see that they were completely alone before addressing them all. Snape, aware that James might be near in his Invisibility Cloak, silently casted an Imperturbable Charm on the door when no one was looking.

"Now that all the rookies are gone," said Lucius, sitting on the couch beside Narcissa and draping an arm around her. "I thought I'd like to let you all in on some information I came across over the holidays."

The others leaned forward expectedly, though Snape had an inkling as to what Lucius was referring to.

"I wonder," said Lucius in a mysterious voice, "if any of you have heard of the _Dark Lord._"

Snape was right. He glanced around and saw everyone shake their heads silently; everyone except Evan and Avery, who exchanged smug looks at each other.

"Well," continued Lucius, clearly relishing in his role of informant. "This is very crucial and extremely secret information I'm giving you, but you've all proven your worth and think you all could help me." He paused and looked around again unnecessarily before leaning forward and lowering his voice to a whisper. "The Dark Lord is a very powerful wizard, _very_ powerful. And he has certain... i_deals_. Word is he thinks pure-bloods should have authority in the wizarding world and wants to do away with all the Mudbloods and blood-traitors."

The room was in dead silence as the group took in Lucius's every word. Even the usual nighttime noise heard from the windows was quiet.

"They say he'll do anything to get power. They say..." Lucius looked at them all with an odd glint in his eye. "He wants to build an army of followers who share his _principles._"

"Who is he?" John Hogan asked.

"No one knows," said Lucius. "But he's definitely out there waiting for wizards of noble blood to rise up and take a stand. This is what I wanted you all to know. I think we can join him."

"Join him?" asked Wilkes, his slow mind working to keep up.

"Yes," said Lucius. "But the thing is, no one knows how to find him. Even the followers he's got now don't know how to contact him."

"Then," said Narcissa. "What are we supposed to do?"

Lucius smiled ruefully at her. "Well," he said. "We already know about him. Now we need to get him to notice _us. _If such a powerful wizard is eventually going to rise to power, it only makes sense to join him early on. I think we need to show him that we believe what he believes, that we share the same notions. We need to make ourselves heard."

"You want us to do something here, at Hogwarts," said Esther, her eyes flashing. Snape adjusted himself uncomfortably in his seat.

"Precisely," said Lucius. "Let's show everyone that we mean business. We'll spread the word about blood superiority and everyone else is going to have to choose a side. Either they're with us or they're against us. The Dark Lord will be very pleased. We'll start a revolution that should have happened ages ago. We'll put the Mudbloods in their place. Anyone who gets in our way, we take care of."

"But won't we get into trouble?" said Nathan Hogan.

"We won't go doing it in front of the teachers!" said Evan. "It's all beneath the surface, you see? The students will be so scared they won't dare say anything."

"That's my boy," said Lucius proudly. "It may take a while, we'll start out small... But soon word will get around that there are right-thinking wizards at Hogwarts, and the Dark Lord is bound to come recruit us. As for me," he puffed his chest and his prefect badge gleamed in the yellow-green light. "I'll be leaving in two years' time. I'll join him soon and let him know that you all were right there from the beginning. We'll be his most loyal and devoted followers."

A murmur of agreement rippled through the group. Snape saw that nearly everyone was nodding; Narcissa gazed at Lucius fondly; Esther Keefe looked excited.

"What also works to our benefit is that we have a member from each House," said Lucius. "We can stir up trouble in the dormitories, too." He looked significantly at the Hogans, Esther, and Snape. "I used to think the division of Houses meant something. But victory comes to the united, I think. We aren't so different, are we?"

Snape watched as the Hogan twins sat up just a bit more upright in their seats, as if what Lucius was saying inflated their spirits. Snape had to admit, Lucius was exceptionally adept in public speaking, and the effects of his words were apparent in every face in the unused classroom.

"Well, it's late," Lucius sighed as he checked his watch. "Think about what I've told you and I'll see you all later."

Everyone rose from their seats and headed for the door. The Hogans were whispering to each other with their heads together, Evan and Avery were looking smug, and Narcissa held Lucius's hand as they departed for the dungeons. Snape took his time as he watched the others descend the steps to their dormitories before making his way to Gryffindor Tower. He had only taken a few steps up a staircase when he realized that someone was following him. Turning, he found Esther.

"Severus," she said. Her voice was as smooth as ever when she spoke, creating an almost haunting sound as it echoed in the empty hall. "I haven't seen you in some time."

Snape wanted very much to leave, but he descended the steps he had just taken and walked to her anyway. "I was under the impression that you were avoiding me," he said.

"Well, you can imagine I was a bit frazzled after what happened in the library," she said, smiling. Snape noticed that her teeth were very white and straight, another feature that added to her stunning looks.

"And," he said. "What _did_ happen in the library?"

She took a step closer to him. Though she was older, she was an inch shorter than Snape, and her eyes were level with his own. "I'm talking about when you tried to peek into my mind."

Snape's words left him.

"I was surprised, of course," she said. "I never thought anyone so young could perform Legilimency. Well, _almost._" Her eyes flashed. "You didn't quite make it."

"Because you knew how to stop me," Snape said in a hushed voice. "How?"

She cocked her head and looked to the portrait hanging on the wall to her left. It depicted a very rotund witch dozing on a throne. "My father began teaching me Legilimency and Occlumency at a very young age. I'd practice for hours. I haven't quite mastered it yet."

"You've done very well, considering," said Snape.

She smiled again. "You know, Sev," she said, and Snape cringed. No one had ever called him 'Sev' except Lily, and it seemed strange hearing it come from someone else. "You don't talk like a twelve-year-old. You seem much... older."

Her eyes narrowed unpleasantly, as if she were trying to see right through him. He intentionally diverted his gaze. "I've been told before that I'm well above my years," he said.

"It's not like that," she insisted. "It's fascinating. I find myself fascinated by you, Severus. We should spend time together more often."

Snape now took a step backwards. "Perhaps," he said. "But for now it is late. I need to get back to my dormitory."

She nodded, still with a faint smile on her lips. "Goodnight," she said in an almost patronizing way, and turned toward the direction of Ravenclaw Tower.


	14. Chapter 14: James's Talent

Moody+Lupin= Hastings? I like that! Thanks, Samantha!

Also this chapter is short! But I think the next will be longer than usual so... yeah.

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**Chapter 14:**

**James's Talent**

James Potter strode from the castle on a cool sunny day down to the Quidditch pitch on the second Saturday afternoon of the school year. With him was a broomstick that he held at his shoulder, like a soldier would a rifle, and his hair was as untidy as ever as he marched across the grassy slopes and into the near-empty stadium. The first sight that met him was a group of people; there were four crimson-robed figures standing in the middle of the field. In front of them, in a straight line, were about ten students, each grasping a broomstick in their hands.

The tallest robed figure was holding a clipboard and a quill. He looked up as James walked over and joined the line. "You here for Quidditch tryouts?" he said.

"Yes, sir," said James. He looked to the side. He was the youngest person there; everyone else ranged from third year to seventh, but they all had the same look of uneasiness on their faces. One of them, a lanky girl who had tied her long hair back into a ponytail, looked as if she would be sick.

After a few more minutes of waiting, the tall boy stepped forward and addressed them. "Okay, let's get started," he said, running a hand through a mess of brown hair. "My name is Josh Stokely. I am the Gryffindor Quidditch Captain, as I'm sure you're all aware, and I play as a Chaser."

He gestured to the three people behind him. "As you can see, a good fraction of our team graduated last year and we need new start-ups. The current positions we are looking for are two Beaters and a Chaser. If you want to play another position, I suggest you leave now."

No one moved. James, at least a head shorter than the other students, drew himself up to his full height.

Stokely waited a beat, and when no one moved, he nodded. "Alright," he said. "If you want to try out for Beater, move to the left. If you want to try out for the Chaser position, move to the right." Seven of the eleven moved to the left; James and the three others, as well as the girl who looked sick, moved to the right.

The Beaters were the first to try out; Stokely had them each fly into the air as he released the Bludgers from a chest by his feet. The rest of the team rose into the air as well, purposefully egging the Bludgers on as they flew around the field. It was up to the students who were trying out to keep them from getting hit. Out of the seven, James saw that only four were decent. The remaining three kept hitting the team with their bats accidentally. After about ten minutes into the session, two of them collided when they went for the same Bludger and had to be led out of the pitch with bloody noses.

After about half an hour, the players landed on the ground. "Okay, that was, erm, nice," said Stokely, sporting a black eye. "Now for the Chaser tryouts we'll simulate a game and," he hesitated after a girl on the team, who was rubbing a bruise on her cheek, shot him a dirty look. "Let's not bother with Bludgers this time. Only the Quaffle for now."

James mounted his broom and immediately kicked off from the ground. The cool air hit his face in a pleasant way; he felt his confidence rise as soon as he left the ground. The Gryffindor Team already had two Chasers. James and one of the students joined one of them, a fierce-looking boy on one side, while Stokely and the remaining two formed the opposite team. The Gryffindor Keeper, the girl with a bruise on her cheek, flew to one of the goalposts, while the Seeker, a small boy with sandy-blonde hair, went to the other. "No horseplay!" called Stokely. "Just a simple game to see what you can do. Okay, go!"

At once James shot forward and Stokely, seeing him coming, tucked the Quaffle under his arm and sped to the opposite goal. James followed him aggressively, and when the Keeper saved the shot and tossed the Quaffle to him, he caught it effortlessly and made for the other end of the field. The other Keeper (who was actually a Seeker) wasn't used to this temporary position, and the Quaffle easily sailed through his outstretched hands as James hurled the ball into the goal.

"Nice work!" said the Chaser on his team before flying off. Feeling very good about himself, James kicked the air triumphantly.

"GO POTTER!"

James swiveled his head around, his glasses nearly flying from his face, and saw Remus and Peter sitting in the stands, smiling and waving encouragingly. Sirius was on his feet, pumping his fist into the air, and calling, "Yeah, James! Get 'em!" Grinning, James turned and sped to the other side of the pitch towards the Quaffle.

"He's going to get on the team. I know it," said Sirius, sitting down. "Look at him go."

"He is very good," said Remus, pulling his robes tighter around himself. "It's chilly up here."

"Hey, look," said Peter, pointing across the field. In the stands on the opposite side sat Mary and Kendra. "What are they doing here?"

"Most of the Gryffindors are here," said Remus, looking around. "I didn't go to many games last year, but the Quidditch games are a big event, right?"

"Yeah, you were sick a lot," said Sirius. "James made me get up early to be the first one here on game days. He's crazy about the sport, been going on about joining the team all summer."

They watched as James effortlessly stole the Quaffle from the girl in a ponytail and score a goal.

"I'm sure he'll make it," said Peter. "The rest of the team looks impressed, at least."

Indeed, the other crimson-robed figures were looking at James and nodding appreciatively. Stokely was pulling his clipboard from the inside of his robes, scribbling something and smirking.

The game lasted for only thirty minutes, and in that time James scored an impressive five goals. The only fact that hindered his performance was that he did not seem to want to pass the Quaffle to the other players on his team, and more than once the fellow Chaser shook his head in James's direction.

After the tryouts ended and the players retreated to the dressing rooms, Sirius, Remus and Peter clamored down the steps of the stands and waited for James halfway up the sloping lawn to the castle. The sky was glowing in the twilight of the evening, and the sound of chirping crickets could be heard from the grass as the boys talked amongst themselves.

"Remember, Sirius, if he doesn't make the team don't rub it in."

"You sound as if you're not one hundred percent certain he'll make it, Lupin," said Sirius, giving him a reproving look. "What kind of a friend are you?"

"One that doesn't assume," said Remus. "He was a great flyer, but he was a bit aggressive with the ball. He almost ran into the other players."

"That was enthusiasm and it's not looked down upon in sports," said Sirius. "Oh, here he is now. Ah..."

They watched as James appeared, stomping up the grass with his head hung low. He didn't look at them as he approached, and didn't say a word when he stopped.

"Well?" said Peter.

"They said I was a good flyer," said James in a low voice. "They said I knew how to handle a Quaffle, but..."

His voice died, and the others exchanged concerned glances. Sirius patted him kindly on the shoulder. "Don't worry about it, mate... There's always next year."

"Yeah," piped in Peter. "They don't know anything, the dunderheads. Who wants to play Quidditch anyway? I'm not going to a single game."

James raised his head, grinning broadly. "Well you won't be able to see me win Gryffindor the House Cup, then."

There was a silence in which the others stared at him, momentarily confused. Then Remus punched James hard in the arm. "You prat!" he said. "You made the team!"

"Of course I did!" laughed James. "I killed it out there, were you even watching?"

"Way to make a big show of it!" exclaimed Sirius. "Don't joke around like that! I was worried for you!"

"Oh, Sirius, I'm touched," James cooed, a hand over his heart.

"So when is the first game?" asked Peter.

"Not until November," said James. "Listen, though. I need you guys to practice with me. Next weekend we could get to the pitch early and-"

"I can't," said Remus at once. James stared at him.

"What?"

"I can't, I'm... busy."

"What do you mean 'busy' I'm talking about a week from now!"

Remus quickly glanced at the sky, then at the castle. "I- uh... well, I'll see. Maybe."

James looked to Sirius and Peter, who merely shrugged. There was an awkward silence, and James, not wanting to press further, changed the subject. "Did you see Mary and Kendra in the stands?" he said. "I heard Kendra yell something to the captain and he blushed. Think he fancies her?"

"Gross," mumbled Peter. "The guy's ugly as sin."

Sirius barked with laughter. "Pettigrew's jealous! Oh, Pete, you sly dog."

"I'm not jealous! I'm-"

"Got the hots for Farlane, eh? Need any pointers?"

Peter sputtered with a retort, and Remus's grim face hinted at a smile.

"Dinner, then?" said James, and suppressing a laugh, led the way back up to Hogwarts castle.

* * *

Author's Note: I found this nifty little website recently that shows the moon's phases for each month and year that can calculate all the way back to the 1950s. So I'm going to try and stay true to that when working out Remus's transformations. (Unless I'm very mistaken) the year now is 1972, the month September, so this tryout takes place on the 16th, which makes the following weekend a full moon, hence Lupin's little problem. (Yeah okay this is a bit excessive but just letting you know the research that goes into writing fanfiction. Did I say research? I meant obsession.)


	15. Chapter 15: Sirius's Guess

I really appreciate all the reviews I'm getting from old and new readers alike! A _lot_ of them keep asking why Snape is joining the Death Eaters again, so I hope to explain that better in this chapter.

* * *

**Chapter 15:**

**Sirius's Guess**

At the end of September, Snape dreamed of Dumbledore again. It occurred at the same time last year, so when Snape lay his head on the pillow inside his four poster and drifted to sleep, he was not at all surprised to find himself fully grown and dressed in his billowing black robes as he walked carefully up a narrow stone staircase. It was a familiar place, though Snape wasn't sue of where he was until he opened an oak door that appeared in front of him, and he entered the open, windy tower of the Owlery.

The rafters and walls were filled to the brim with sleeping owls, their heads tucked under their wings and their chests rising and falling as they dozed. By one of the open windows, the same window where he had stood with Lily only weeks before, was the tall, silver-bearded wizard, who turned and smiled at Snape as he shut the door behind him.

"Good evening Severus," said Dumbledore, smiling. "Or should I say... good night?" He indicated the window, where the sky was a deep navy color and littered with twinkling stars. "You've begun your second year at Hogwarts. How are you feeling?"

Snape glanced around him. "I'm feeling well, sir," he said. "Er... why are we not in your office?"

"I felt like a change of scenery," Dumbledore said simply. "I do not wish to be confined to my office all the time, would you?"

Snape wandered over to the former headmaster, realizing just then how much he missed his adult body; it didn't take him as long to move from one place to another with longer legs. When he stood beside Dumbledore, they turned to look out of the window, where they could gaze out at the shadowy grounds below.

"Things are much different this year," said Dumbledore. "I see you continue to quibble with your former enemies..." he glanced sideways at Snape with his blue eyes, "As well as associate with your former friends."

"Are you talking about Lucius Malfoy?" asked Snape, to which the old man nodded.

"I wonder," said Dumbledore. "Why is it you wish to join the Death Eaters again, after the consequences you faced the first time?"

Snape sighed. "It's not as if I haven't thought this through." He straightened the cuffs of his sleeve. "I've been contemplating my... situation... ever since my first dream with you, and I've noticed several... discrepancies."

"Discrepancies?"

"Yes, and... Well, there are certain aspects that do not add up." His voice grew quiet, and he found it difficult to speak. "If... if I win Lily over, and she never marries Potter, then..."

His voice trailed off, and Dumbledore offered, "There would be no Harry?"

"Exactly," said Snape. "And if there is no Harry then there is no prophecy, and the Dark Lord will not have anyone to mark as an equal."

"Ah," Dumbledore said. "I was wondering if you had considered this. Yes, without Harry Potter then the future as we know it would alter drastically."

"Then you agree," said Snape, turning from the window, "that the Dark Lord will need to be brought down by someone else? By me?"

"Mmm," was all the old wizard said.

Snape, annoyed, looked out of the window once more. "I want to join the Death Eaters again so that I can get closer to the Dark Lord as I did in my past life," he explained. "He trusted me completely. There were times when I witnessed him at his weakest, most vulnerable state. If I can come to that point again, if I can work my way up to become his right-hand man, then I will have plenty of opportunities to kill him myself. Indeed," he glanced at Dumbledore in an angry sort of way. "I could have done it sooner had you not ordered me to continue as a spy. You insisted Harry Potter should be the one to defeat him, so I did not act as I would have liked."

"Besides," Snape continued. "If my plan works then Harry Potter will not have to die. He won't even exist, technically..."

"Harry Potter will not have to die?" said Dumbledore, looking confused. "Whatever do you mean?"

Snape stared at him. "You know what I mean," he said. "You told me years ago that Potter would have to die in order for the Dark Lord to be vanquished."

Dumbledore smiled under his long, silver beard. "Oh, but Harry did not die. He rose against Voldemort and defeated him easily."

"What? Then... Potter survived?"

"Yes, quite. And Voldemort was conquered, the Death Eaters disbanded... It was a very happy time, though there were quite a lot of casualties."

Snape merely gaped at him. Dumbledore chuckled. "Oh, Harry lived a long and fruitful life," he continued. "He married his sweetheart Ginny Weasley and became an Auror-"

"I don't want to hear any of that!" Snape exclaimed, waving his arms. "How did Potter live? You said that-"

"You thought I was raising him as 'a pig for slaughter' if my memory serves. But alas, even I cannot predict such a monumental outcome so accurately."

Snape's thought whirled inside his head. "Potter got married," he breathed, then looked to Dumbledore. "How do you know all of this? It hasn't happened yet!"

Dumbledore straightened, taller than ever, and his eyes cast a knowing look. "There is no time in death, Severus," he said in a wise voice. "When your time comes... again... you will know what I mean."

Snape thought for a spell, watching the stars twinkle down from the heavens. "There isn't a chance that another prophecy will be made if Harry isn't born, is there?"

"I doubt it," said Dumbledore. "Harry Potter was a hero by slim margins. Very easily could he have turned out different than what he became, very easily could he have died before facing Voldemort for the very last time. Yes, if you continue with this life then someone else will have to come along and defeat Voldemort, though the task will prove to be extremely dangerous. Are you ready to put all that you have gained on the line again? Are you prepared?"

"You talk as if I've never experienced difficulties," Snape sneered. "You know better than anyone what I've done for the sake of Lily... for the sake of the wizarding world... for these last seventeen years. Do you doubt my capabilities?"

"I would never dream of it," said Dumbledore. "But, Severus... I can only know the future of what has happened. I know that, given Harry defeated Voldemort when he did, he was able to live a long, happy life in the years that followed. But what you are doing is altering a very important part of history, and what is to come as a consequence I cannot say."

Snape felt a lump in his throat, and when he spoke his voice was weak. "Are you saying that... that I will die if..."

"Oh, no no. Nothing at all like that!" Dumbledore assured. "I am merely saying that everything you do, every decision you make, changes the future in a way that makes it unpredictable, and therefore I am unable to guide you in the right direction, for I do not know what is to come."

Snape breathed a sigh of relief. He had known that what he was doing would alter time, and he knew that he was taking a huge gamble... but Dumbledore was speaking with something like hope in his voice. And if Dumbledore trusted him now as much as he had done in his past life, Snape was all the more confident that his plan would work. "I thought you knew everything in death," he said sarcastically.

"Almost everything," said Dumbledore. "I still have trouble with my knitting patterns."

Dumbledore turned fully to Snape, who did the same. Though there was nothing physically different in the man, Dumbledore noticed the way Snape held himself, as if bearing a confidence he had never known in his old life. "I see you have grown already," said Dumbledore. "If you wish to defeat Voldemort then you will have to show a great deal of courage once again. I trust that you can do it, Severus. Your heart is in the right place."

"Thank you, sir," said Snape.

-

Remus was sitting in the common room alone while he did his homework. He was perfectly content as he sat there, the only sound being the soft patter of the rain against the windows and the scratching of his own quill on parchment. He liked the smell of ink on parchment; it was an ordinary scent that would seem mundane to most, but to Remus it meant something more. It was the smell of normality, and it reminded him that he was normal, at least, for most of the time.

Remus was finishing the very last line of his essay when he heard the portrait door swing open and loud footsteps thump across the carpet towards him. He didn't have to look up as Sirius occupied the chair next to him.

"How's it going, Remus?" said Sirius.

"Dandy," Remus replied. "Just finished that Binn's essay. Have you started?"

"What subject does Binn's teach again?"

"Please tell me you're joking."

"Of course I am," said Sirius, propping his feet on the arms of the chair in front of him. "Charms, right?"

Remus rolled his eyes as Sirius chuckled to himself, and the pleasant atmosphere was shared by the two friends. For a minute or two Sirius watched the rain tap against the window and Remus pulled his Transfiguration book out of his bag to finish another assignment, one he was sure Sirius would be copying later. It wasn't until Remus dropped his quill and bent to pick it up that Sirius noticed a particularly gruesome wound on his wrist.

"What the hell happened to you?" Sirius gasped, grabbing Remus's arm roughly for a closer look.

"_Ouch!_ It's- nothing-" Remus spat, wrenching his hand away and hastily tugging his sleeve down. "I cut myself in Potions by accident."

"Remus, those look like teeth marks-"

"It's nothing," Remus said very sternly. Sirius considered Remus for a moment, bit his tongue as if he were thinking hard, and looked to the window again. Then, his eyes darted back to Remus, and he said, very carefully:

"Did you do this to yourself?"

Remus's face paled. "I- no." He avoided Sirius's gaze, but his friend was not fooled.

"I wish you would just tell me yourself," Sirius said. "I can tell you're scared, but there isn't any need to be."

Remus swallowed in the heavy silence that followed. He did not dare meet his friend's eyes. "You know, then?" he whispered. "You know that I am... That I have..."

"A curse?" Sirius offered. "Of the werewolf persuasion? Yes, yes I do."

Remus slumped in his chair at a loss for words. He stared at Sirius, perhaps entertained by the thought that he may be joking again, but he was met with a solemn face.

"How did you find out?"

"During Astronomy the day we were studying lunar charts," Sirius said. "I noticed that your sick days always fell on a full moon. It doesn't take a genius to figure it out."

Remus blanched, his face becoming, if possible, even whiter.

"Don't worry, mate," said Sirius lightly. "I don't think any less of you for being a bit... hairy. Better me to know than someone like that Malfoy git... or Snivellus..."

Remus suddenly became very interested in something inside his bag. Sirius gaped at him.

"Waitaminute," he said, sitting up straight. "You mean_ Snape knows?"_

"He's known for a while, actually."

"And he hasn't _told _anyone?"

"Obviously not," Remus said, indicating himself. "I'm still here aren't I?"

"Merlin's beard," breathed Sirius, falling back in his armchair and staring at the ceiling, genuinely shocked. "I didn't think Snape had any humanity in him."

"He's really not a bad bloke, you know," Remus said for what seemed like the hundredth time. "He's just a little different."

"No, no, no," Sirius sat upright again. _"Different_ is turning into a werewolf once a month. Snape is not different. I see him all the time... big nose buried in some Dark Arts book... and the way he hangs around Lily Evans? It's creepy."

"They're friends."

"I think he wants to be more than friends."

Again, they were silent, and Remus felt a great relief spread through him. _Sirius knows,_ he thought. _And he's okay with it. I can't believe it..._

"You won't tell anyone, will you?" Remus asked, suddenly. "I don't want... I mean, James and Peter might not- _ow!_"

Sirius had punched him hard in the shoulder. Remus looked shocked and rubbed it with a grimace. "What was that for?"

"How can you think like that?" Sirius said, his face showing hurt. "We're your friends, aren't we? How can you think we'd stop just because you're a werewolf?"

"I... I didn't mean it like that..."

"You'll tell them yourself tonight," said Sirius. His eyes travelled to the portrait hole. "In fact, you can do it right now."

Remus turned completely around in his chair and saw James and Peter emerge from the entrance into the common room. They spotted the pair sitting by the fire and joined them.

"Hello, boys," said James, pushing Sirius's legs aside and collapsing into the chair in front of them. "How goes it?"

Peter, not seeing any chairs left in the vicinity, sat on floor, looking up expectedly. Remus opened his mouth to speak and, after an encouraging nod from Sirius, said, "Nothing, really... Er, listen, I have to tell you guys something. It's kind of important, and it's about me, so... ah..."

"Is this about you being a werewolf?" said James. Peter's mouth fell open and he looked to Remus, who was sporting a similar look. Remus glared at Sirius, who was half-smiling and looking amazed.

"I didn't say anything!" said Sirius, throwing up his hands defensively. Remus turned back to James.

"How... how did...?"

James shrugged. "I figured. Your sick days every month, your sorry excuses for said sick days... Plus, it would explain why you didn't want to practice Quidditch with me last weekend."

"W-why?" said Peter.

"Because it's a full moon, idiot," said Sirius. "I think Peter's the only one who didn't figure it out. I'm not surprised."

Peter blushed, but Remus looked down to him with a look of urgency. "You don't mind, do you, Pete?" he asked. "You think... me being a werewolf-"

"Of course not!" Peter exclaimed. "I mean, you haven't hurt anyone, have you? You haven't hurt me, at least. I don't care, Remus, honest!"

James and Sirius nodded sagely. "You hear that?" said Sirius. "We wouldn't care if you were a hippogriff. Mates stick together, right?"

Remus nodded slowly, completely lost for words. For over a year he had been terrified of his friends learning his secret, and he had imagined the scenario over and over in his head. He had never dreamed that it would happen like this. To his surprise, he felt his eyes water, and he hurriedly wiped his them on his sleeve, and the other three were tactful enough to look away.

"Say," said Sirius, once Remus had dried his eyes. "What's it like to turn? If- if you don't mind my asking," he added, after a reproachful look from James.

Remus merely laughed, and his voice was filled with the tiredness one feels after letting go of a terrible weight. "It's dreadful," he said, smiling despite his words. "Just awful. I can't really remember what I do when I'm a wolf, but I always come back with scratches and bruises. Not to mention the transformation itself is very painful."

"How did it happen?" asked Peter.

Remus explained everything, amazed at how easy it was to talk about after keeping his secret hidden all this time. He explained being bitten as a child, the Whomping Willow and the secret passage to the Shrieking Shack, where he would spend the full moon at every month. He explained that only the teachers knew about him, and how Dumbledore had to pull strings for him to go to Hogwarts, and how nobody could ever find out if he wanted to keep attending. The other three listened intently, and only spoke when Remus was finished.

"So," said Peter. "That makes a load of sense. All this time I thought you just had some disease."

"It is a disease," said Remus. "Well, kind of. A curse, you know."

"The only thing left to do," said James. "Is we need to discuss what to _do_ about this problem."

Remus sighed. "There isn't any cure, James."

"I know that! But as your friends we can't let you go through this horrific experience _alone-_"

"You can't pal around with a werewolf!" Remus said, his voice rising. "I told you- I'm not in a right mind when I transform. I could kill you!"

"Okay, okay," said James. "Just calm down. But you have to admit, being hauled up in an old building isn't good for you. What if you break out and get into Hogsmeade?"

Remus shook his head. "I dunno. I don't want to think about it." He rubbed his eyes wearily. "Let's go to bed."

"Good idea," said Peter, rising from his spot on the floor. "Does anyone else know about this?"

"Only _Snivellus,"_ Sirius sneered.

James's mouth formed an 'O' of surprise. "You're kidding!" he said. "That slimeball? You want us to shut him up for you, Remus?"

_"No," _Remus stressed. "He's been gracious enough to keep quiet all these months. I think it's the least we can do to lay off him." He glared at Sirius and James, who were exchanging smirks. "I mean it. Leave him alone."

"Okay, okay," said James, opening the door to the dormitories. "But if he gives us just one reason, just one greasy toe out of line, I'll hang him from the goals of the Quidditch pitch."

Sirius let out a bark of laughter and Remus rolled his eyes.


	16. Chapter 16: A Sluggish Proposition

**A Lion Inside**

**Chapter 16:  
**

**A Sluggish Proposition  
**

In the month of October, the weather changed more drastically than it had the previous weeks of school. It occurred to everyone who stepped outside on the grounds that the crisp, autumn days were over, and a chilly cold had set itself in the air, fogging the windows of the castle and freezing the dew on the grass so that it crunched beneath the feet of those who walked on it.

The only thing that hadn't changed, for the second years anyway, were Potions classes, for Slughorn was still having them work on the same unnamed potion in groups of three. Snape, Lily, and Remus were doing better than anyone else in the class; several tables had to start entirely over and were days behind in their brewing. In fact, only their cauldron was filled with a lime green watery substance, which was what Slughorn had described the potion should look like by now.

"Excellent!" he roared when he peered over the rim. "Fantastic color, perfect consistency. I think you three will win the prize!"

"What prize?" said James from across the aisle, looking up from his smoking cauldron. At his outburst, Peter accidentally dropped his stirring spoon into the potion, and it disappeared with a fizzling sound.

"Oh, I didn't tell you?" asked Slughorn. "I thought I'd make lessons a bit more interesting by adding some competitive spirit!"

The entire class looked up from their cauldrons, watching the professor with keen interest.

Slughorn smiled. "Whichever group makes the best potion will win a prize once it's completed. I won't tell you what it is, though. I think it'd be a nice surprise! But it will be well worth it, let me tell you that much."

At once everyone bent down, hurriedly double-checking the ingredients on the blackboard. Slughorn watched them and laughed, calling "That's the spirit!" as he continued with his rounds of the room.

"There's no point in even trying," Kendra whined, dropping her wand onto the table and leaning back in her chair. "Lily's team is going to win anyway."

Lily, Snape and Remus exchanged smug looks and continued to work. The next ingredient to add was parrot talons, which sat in a cup at the edge of the table. As Remus reached for it, Lily stopped him. "Just a minute," she said, extracting her wand. She pointed it at the cup and muttered, _"Accio talons!" _The container skidded across the table and into her hand.

Remus looked amazed. "What sort of spell is that?" he asked.

Lily handed Snape three black talons, and he dropped them into the cauldron. "Sev taught it to me," she said. "It's a summoning spell that I've been practicing."

Snape saw Remus glance at him, then down to the mess of vials and beakers on the desk. "Can you show me?" he asked Lily.

"Sure," Lily said brightly, and she demonstrated how to perform the spell. Remus took out his own wand from his pocket and pointed it at a vial. _"Accio fish scales!"_ he said. The vial turned over, gleaming blue scales littering the table. Lily laughed and helped him clean up. Snape hid a small smile.

"What... what other spells do you know?" Remus asked hesitantly, this time looking at Snape, whose smile faded.

"Oh, er..." Snape muttered.

"He knows loads!" Lily said, nudging Snape with her elbow. "He can show you how to do anything! Can't you, Sev?"

She smiled at him expectedly, and he felt his face redden. "Yes," he said rather weakly. "Yeah, I can. What do you want to know?"

Remus glanced at Slughorn, now at the back of the room trying to put out a fire on someone's table. "What about a water spell?" he said. "Like what Slughorn's doing?"

Snape turned around. Slughorn was emitting a small stream of water from the tip of his wand. "Easy," he said. "Just say 'Aguamenti' and point your wand. It's not usually taught until sixth year, though."

Remus seemed impressed. "How do you know such an advanced spell?"

"He's a genius," Lily said simply, staring at their potion. Snape shrugged, but Remus smiled.

"You'll have to teach me that one," he said. "Maybe in the dormitory tonight?"

"Okay," said Snape uneasily. "If you want..."

"I do," said Remus, and it was apparent in his forced smile that he was trying to be friendly.

By the end of the lesson, a good portion of the students in the class had lost hope in Slughorn's contest, and were now merely killing time with idle chit chat. James, Sirius, and Peter had held a little contest of their own trying to see what ingredients would make their potion bubble more ferociously until it finally erupted like a volcano all over the desk. Slughorn called for everyone to clean up and watched as the students hauled their cauldrons into the storage cupboard for the next lesson.

"I'll see you later, Severus," Remus said, making his way out the door towards James. Snape and Lily were about to follow when Slughorn called them over to his desk.

"I don't want to ruin the fun," said Slughorn with a glint in his eye. "But I think you two will win the contest!"

He raised his eyebrows expectedly, as if the two weren't already plainly aware of the fact, and Lily tried not to laugh out loud. Snape said, "Thank you, sir."

Slughorn sat in his chair, his round belly protruding over his trousers. "Of course, that isn't the real reason I asked you two to stay. No, what I really wanted to ask..."

He ran a stubby finger over his walrus mustache. "You see, I'm throwing a little party on Halloween. And at my parties I like having only the more... advanced students. It's a fabulous way to make connections early on, you know. I was wondering if you two would like to attend?"

Lily and Snape looked to one another. "A party?" Lily asked, a little hesitant.

"Oh, Dumbledore knows all about my parties," Slughorn assured. "I like to invite my favorite students, but don't tell any of your peers that I partake in favoritism. I know greatness when I see it. And I see it prominently in you both. I know you'd love it if you came."

"Okay," said Lily.

"Sure," said Snape.

"Splendid!" said Slughorn. "My classroom in the dungeons, nine o'clock sharp. Don't be late!"


End file.
